How my marriage is stronger after having a baby

I don’t have to tell you guys that pregnancy and a baby puts a whole lot of pressure on a marriage. The hormones, the late nights, the lack of intimacy and the irritation don’t really make for a romantic 9 months.

Somehow, you both have this “idea” in hour head that once the baby is here, it would be better, intimacy will be easier because you will feel more comfortable and better about your body. (Ha right?!).

It actually gets harder once the baby is there, your husband tends to feel neglected because he now has to share you with this tiny little baby that always needs you, and when that baby finally goes to sleep, you are exhausted, you don’t feel like putting on sexy lingerie and being sexy.

It takes time, it takes time to get used to the little sleep, it takes time to find out who you are again once you become a mother, you change, your priorities change and your outlook on life changes, and so does the dynamic of your relationship with your partner.

The key is to be patient with one another, both of you needs to find how things are going to work, fathers also feel like they cant do what they used to do because they now have a family, just like moms feel like they have no time to themselves anymore. In my case, this “role confusion” caused a lot of friction in our marriage, we took the frustration out on one another and fought all the time; the slightest thing set us off and we ended up fighting about something that happened years ago.

The point is that any high pressure situation causes fights, and a having a child is like an endless amount of high pressure situations, you just need to find your way around it. We are much more patient with each other now, and we give each other space when we need it, and we don’t take stress out on each other anymore (well most of the time, we’re only human).

Our relationship is just stronger, having gone through the sleepless nights together (well mostly) and the insecurities as parents; have just brought us closer together, seeing your partner with your child does something to your heart, it warms it and melts it at the same time.

It honestly is an amazing journey, it breaks and rebuilds you as a person and as a couple.

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Does Being a Mom Ever Get Easier

Being a first time mom is intense , and I don’t have to tell anyone that ! We all know it !

Now that my baby girl is 5 and a half months old I feel like things are getting easier every day , I think it is mostly because I feel more confident as a mother and I know my baby girl and what she needs when .

But she is also more content and “easier” these days , she is sleeping so much better now after the sleep consultant , she started solids and we are both loving it , she is more active and is enjoying her toys and she is so easy to entertain !

She is definitely teething , and difficult at times but still I feel like I can handle it so much better than that first week at home !

I know that the future will hold so many more unexpected twists and turns and you cannot prepare for all of it , but I feel more comfortable in my own skin and within the relationship between me and my daughter . I already feel like we have such a strong bond and I am enjoying every minute with her.

I see moms with grownup children , and then the answer is clear , you will always worry about your children , being a mom is not a switch that you can turn off once your children go out into the world on their own , you always worry about whether they are okay safe and happy !

And I can already feel all of that just looking at my baby smoo ❀️

Being a mother is the best thing in the world !

Angelique

The Great Unknown ….

The past few days I found myself at a loss for words , writers block if you will .

Life just does that sometimes doesn’t it !?

It throws you curveballs that you never saw coming , and it just takes its toll , the past few days I was just tired , no specific reason , just overall exhausted with my life , and I am sure that happens to almost everyone !

We are planning on moving (as some of you know) and our business is in the market , but we don’t know where we will move to and what jobs we will get and maybe even a change of career paths , we don’t know when this will be , its nerve wrecking to say the least , I love change as much as the next person , but its the not knowing that makes me stress so much !

If you know where you are headed , you can prepare yourself mentally and start picturing this new life , because you have all these images to fill in the blanks , with us , its just black (with a very big light at the end of the tunnel off course) and that is so scary , for anyone !

Especially with a family , when I was single , this would be sooo exciting for me , 20 year old me would LOVE this uncertainty, the 27 year old mom me , not so much ! πŸ€ͺ

If you have a family , you have this need to protect and provide , whether you are the father , the mother , or both to your baby , uncertainty about the future and having an infant just does not go well together , at all !

Motherhood has sure made me into a “worry wart” , but in a good way , I am more responsible , less impulsive , more patient and most of all , I feel like I have calmed down , I am not as rushed and frantic as I used to be ….

All phases in life offers so many lessons to be learnt, if we are open to them ; so I am excited to see what this new journey teaches me about life !

Stay tuned …..

Angelique

Sleeping Consultant

We decided to get a sleeping consultant about a week ago (I did not even know this was a thing) and we have been doing this thing for 5 days now .

Let me just start by saying that it has nothing to do with letting your baby cry it out or any of those things , they analyze your baby’s world and how you do things , and tell you what they think you should do differently in order for everyone to have more sleep.

The past 4 days have been the hardest , I have cried so many times , I lost count , the reason for this being so difficult is that we changed our baby’s routine , which every mother knows is chaos !!

Seeing your baby unhappy is just so so sad , but we made it !!!!! She immediately started sleeping better at night , and today , on day 5 , everything changed for her naps ! I cant believe it is the same baby , and I am just so proud of all of us.

Proud of Paige for pushing through this and learning that sleeping is actually not that bad , and for me for not throwing in the towel (as I wanted to so many times) and for my husband for putting up with all my crying and mood swings this past week !

We are not out of the woods just yet , but our lives have improved so so much , and I honestly recommend this to anyone who is having trouble with their baby’s sleeping habits , its hard , but boy is it worth it !!

Here’s to having our lives back , and having such a happier baby now that she is getting the sleep that she needs to grow and be healthy πŸ‘πŸ»πŸŽŠ

For those of you who are interested in contacting a sleeping consultant , visit

https://www.goodnightbaby.co.za/

They work all over the world and you can skype with your consultant !

Angelique

No Woman Has Ever Calmed Down By Being Told To Calm Down

I mean , where have you ever !? 🀣

Please tell me that I am not the only one having these fights ? Those ones that start out disguised as your typical marriage fight and then the words “just calm down” or “its not that bad just calm down” are uttered and suddenly its a whole new ballgame πŸ™ˆ

But all jokes aside , marriage is HARD people , haha , my husband and I live on the same property as our business , which means we see each other all the time , and its great to have him help with Paige during the day sometimes !

BUT , you can only imagine how much time this gives us to get in each others business and how much time this gives us to pick fights with each other 🀣

And then , when he does go away for a week to go hunting or something , it sucks to be here all alone and not have family or friends nearby , you just cant win ! Haha

When we do move , it will be a hell of an adjustment to not see each other during the day , but I also believe it will do us some good , in so many ways , we each will have our own careers and get to share that at the end of the day , we get to miss each other a little bit you know !?

ps. I am sitting here in Paige’s room writing as she is staring at me from her cot …. sleeping still not going according to plan if anyone was wondering 🀣😫🀫

Angeliqur

Freedom | Alone At Long Last

So yesterday I left my baby with my mother in law and my husband , and went to town to do my nails and get a few things for the house all by myself for the very first time.

All I can say is WOW ! Although it was quite sad and made me nervous to leave her , it did me the world of good to be by-myself a little bit .

I realized that it really is a necessity to take a break , we live in a rural area and babysitting (unless it is in laws) is not an option , although I am very blessed to be able to look after my baby myself , it does get to me to not do anything else and to not see other adults .

I had a nice few hours in town , and when I came back I could handle her teething and everything else , and it made me so jealous of other moms that get to work , even half day , I do go into the lodge everyday , but I take her with , and only spend about an hour there before she lets me know its time to leave πŸ™ˆ

Thats why I think these little breaks are so important – absence makes the heart grow fonder , just a little reboot so to speak , just so you can appreciate everything again !

Heres to many more little breaks πŸŽ‰

Angelique

Rocking The Mom Bod | Not

Lets get real for a second here , you get mothers that gain a minimal weight , and just look AMAZING a month after giving birth , and then you get mothers like ME …

I gained about 25-30 kg during my pregnancy …. its an insane amount of weight , looked like a baby elephant πŸ˜πŸ€£πŸ™ˆ

And yes I have lost weight since then (4 and a half months post partum now) but not nearly where I would like to be ! I haven’t even gotten on a scale yet because I know it will just upset me , ignorance is bliss I say !

I know everyone always says you have to be proud of your body , because it went through so much , but I just am not , I don’t like the sagging belly thing that I now seem to have at the age of 27, I am not proud of the fact that my back gets sore now when I bend down too much in the day and I am not proud of the fact that I try to dress in the bathroom so that my husband doesn’t see me naked in the light πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

It is insane what we all go through , and every mom experiences this is one way or another , your body is just so different after giving birth , but I must say , I am much stronger mentally and emotionally , I can multi task like a pro and handle so many more emotions all at once , and still somehow keep it together (or try to atleast) because I know there is this little princess that needs me to keep my shit together so to speak ! πŸ’ͺ🏻

I will just always try to better myself , and I refuse to believe that this is just the way my body is now , step by step , we will get there !

Pic of my beautiful little girl who is just so worth every roll of fat 🀣😘😍

Angelique