Sleeping Consultant – Is it worth is ?

A baby’s sleep is the biggest struggle for most new moms, and even second time moms all over the world, to me personally, it was the biggest struggle, the breastfeeding I could handle, the crying I could handle, but the lack of sleep was just too much to bare, it was affecting every aspect of my life; my job, my marriage and my overall well being and I am a strong believer that you cannot be the best mother you can be if you are unhappy.

Asking for help often makes new mothers feel like a failure, it certainly did for me, it felt like I failed as a mother because I was reading and hearing about all these mothers whose babies sleep through the night at the age of 2-3 months old, and immediately I felt like I wasn’t a good mother, I could not even get my baby to have a solid nap once a day.

I finally realized that this is just not true, just like we as grownups are all individuals and all have our own likes and dislikes, so babies do as well, each baby is unique and we should not compare our mothering to others (which is a very difficult thing to ask of any mother as it is so easy to start feeling insecure and second guess ourselves).

That is why my husband and I decided to get a sleeping consultant, we were getting up at an average of six times per night to give our baby girl her pacifier so that she would go back to sleep , she refused to nap for longer that 30 minutes during the day (she was a champion cat napper) , and she was just a difficult baby overall , once again; because of the lack of sleep.

We tried everything you can think of, and although the internet is an amazing thing, it gives broad advice, the advice you get is not tailored to your baby or your specific situation, and that can get confusing, I know that some moms have had great success with this, but for us, this just did not do the trick , my husband and I even started fighting because we each had our own idea about what would work, each confident it their own option. This created so much friction in our marriage, so getting a third party to give advice was the best thing we could have done, not only for our baby, but for our marriage.

We were going insane! My days and nights all seemed to blend together, with no clear distinction, napping while she slept was not an option as it was only half an hour and I had work to do, which I know a lot of moms would agree with , I read the other day “Sleep while the baby sleeps, so that means; do laundry while the baby does laundry?” – The whole idea behind sleeping when the baby sleeps basically only works for the first few weeks after birth, no one expects you to do any household chores or cook or clean, but this level of sympathy quickly disappears as your baby gets a little older.

So I was in desperate need of some professional advice, hence; the sleeping consultant.

A sleeping consultant evaluates all aspects of your lives, and your baby’s, they analyse all information given to them and then they work out a sleep schedule and provide you with the needed information on how to execute this plan. Our consultant did four follow ups and I had to log all activities and sleeping during the day so that we can see if anything improves as we progress, she was very hands on and we talked every day , I was very impressed by the level of commitment on her behalf and she motivated me every step of the way, even the days I felt like giving up.

The first four days were intense, the reason for this is that we changed our baby’s routine, which every mother knows is chaos to say the least, and difficult for everyone to adjust to. Since day two she slept so well during the night and only had one bottle and then slept again, our lives changed, and we got the needed sleep.

But then daybreak came, and chaos with it!

My baby girl screamed every time I put her in her bed for a nap , no matter how tired she was, she just would have none of it, we had to resort to an “emergency nap” ( which is getting the baby to sleep no matter what it takes, there comes a time when getting your baby to sleep is more important then HOW they fall asleep) and then after a few days, this didn’t even work for us anymore, she knew when we put her in her pram it meant she must sleep , and as you can imagine, this now warranted for an even bigger screaming match  than placing her in her bed.

I honesty almost gave up, and the consultant just reassured me that consistency is key and that she would eventually realize that sleeping is not that bad. She was right, day five, everything started to change, she would sleep when she needed to and wake up much later than half an hour.

It took us about 2 weeks to establish a sleep routine and to get into the groove of things, both us and her, her crying (and mine) came to an end and we have our lives back! I would recommend getting a sleep consultant for any mother having issues with their baby’s sleep.

That being said; there were some days in these two weeks that I could see my baby was struggling and was just not having a good day, whether it be teething or her just not feeling herself, the intense routine went out the window, I honestly believe that we know our babies best, and we know when they need what, I followed the sleep plan for the most part, but I still believe that babies are individuals and also have “off days” just like we do , and we cannot expect every day to go according to plan and the way we would like it, babies are hard work , and some days are hard being a mother, and no consultant in the world is going to make your life perfect.

There is nothing like a mother’s love!

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Sleeping Consultant

We decided to get a sleeping consultant about a week ago (I did not even know this was a thing) and we have been doing this thing for 5 days now .

Let me just start by saying that it has nothing to do with letting your baby cry it out or any of those things , they analyze your baby’s world and how you do things , and tell you what they think you should do differently in order for everyone to have more sleep.

The past 4 days have been the hardest , I have cried so many times , I lost count , the reason for this being so difficult is that we changed our baby’s routine , which every mother knows is chaos !!

Seeing your baby unhappy is just so so sad , but we made it !!!!! She immediately started sleeping better at night , and today , on day 5 , everything changed for her naps ! I cant believe it is the same baby , and I am just so proud of all of us.

Proud of Paige for pushing through this and learning that sleeping is actually not that bad , and for me for not throwing in the towel (as I wanted to so many times) and for my husband for putting up with all my crying and mood swings this past week !

We are not out of the woods just yet , but our lives have improved so so much , and I honestly recommend this to anyone who is having trouble with their baby’s sleeping habits , its hard , but boy is it worth it !!

Here’s to having our lives back , and having such a happier baby now that she is getting the sleep that she needs to grow and be healthy 👏🏻🎊

For those of you who are interested in contacting a sleeping consultant , visit

https://www.goodnightbaby.co.za/

They work all over the world and you can skype with your consultant !

Angelique

Sleep Training Day/Night One …. Kill Me Now !

Okay so you guys read my post on sleep training and getting a sleep consultant about a week ago , and we did , we had our skype meeting with her and she is lovely , I honestly believe that this whole process will work and am quite excited for the end results.

That being said, wow ! What a first night , chaos chaos chaos and then some crying; is basically how I would describe our first night.

In short we had to change the following;

  • Take her dummy away because she associates it with sleep , and wakes up in the middle of the night and needs it to fall back asleep (wow you feel like a bad mom when hearing this, because I was the one that kept forcing the dummy on her when she must sleep and never let her suck her hand or self soothe EVER)
  • Change her bedtime to later – which basically changes her whole routine and you can only imagine how intense that is for a 5 month old
  • Feed her outside her room
  • Have bedtime routine at all naps (read her a story sing, massage) (whatever works for you)

This whole process so far has been so amazing and so helpful and its only day one, in my marriage as well, when there are two parents that are equally involved in raising your baby , things tend to get a bit heated when you disagree on something when it comes to her.

So having a third party tel us how to fix it and how to go about changing things so that Paige can sleep better, really helps, and we don’t fight about anything because it is not our personal opinions that come into play.

Just to put it out there – this sleep training that we are doing does not involve “letting your baby cry it out” or leaving the room while she is crying at any point , but it does involve crying , but we pick her up and comfort her and then put her back down in order to teach her how to fall asleep by herself!

The first day has been intense , and I am sure that we will still have a few obstacles to overcome in the coming week or two , but today I am positive that we will make it through this 🙂

Angelique

And So It All Starts … ||Marriage

So my husband and I have always eventually ended up on the same page with issues in life , we respect our differences (mostly) and we always try to end up with a compromise that we are both happy with.

HOWEVER , since Paige was born the disagreements started to become more frequent , never about anything other than her , how we put her to bed and get her to sleep , her dummy , her eating , who has to get up , and the list goes on and on !

It is amazing how such a small little human can come and change literally everything in your life , we are going through a period where we are struggling to get her into a sleeping schedule , so my whole day revolves around getting her to nap , and yes you guessed it , most of the time she just laughs at me in her cot 😩🤣

And yes that means all we talk about is her and how we can do things differently , and off course the moment my husband says anything I feel offended and feel like he is saying I am a bad mother ….. its a vicious cycle !

Thats why we decided on getting a sleeping consultant , that way , its a third party telling us what we are doing wrong and how to fix it , and no one gets offended 🤪

Angelique