Sleeping Consultant – Is it worth is ?

A baby’s sleep is the biggest struggle for most new moms, and even second time moms all over the world, to me personally, it was the biggest struggle, the breastfeeding I could handle, the crying I could handle, but the lack of sleep was just too much to bare, it was affecting every aspect of my life; my job, my marriage and my overall well being and I am a strong believer that you cannot be the best mother you can be if you are unhappy.

Asking for help often makes new mothers feel like a failure, it certainly did for me, it felt like I failed as a mother because I was reading and hearing about all these mothers whose babies sleep through the night at the age of 2-3 months old, and immediately I felt like I wasn’t a good mother, I could not even get my baby to have a solid nap once a day.

I finally realized that this is just not true, just like we as grownups are all individuals and all have our own likes and dislikes, so babies do as well, each baby is unique and we should not compare our mothering to others (which is a very difficult thing to ask of any mother as it is so easy to start feeling insecure and second guess ourselves).

That is why my husband and I decided to get a sleeping consultant, we were getting up at an average of six times per night to give our baby girl her pacifier so that she would go back to sleep , she refused to nap for longer that 30 minutes during the day (she was a champion cat napper) , and she was just a difficult baby overall , once again; because of the lack of sleep.

We tried everything you can think of, and although the internet is an amazing thing, it gives broad advice, the advice you get is not tailored to your baby or your specific situation, and that can get confusing, I know that some moms have had great success with this, but for us, this just did not do the trick , my husband and I even started fighting because we each had our own idea about what would work, each confident it their own option. This created so much friction in our marriage, so getting a third party to give advice was the best thing we could have done, not only for our baby, but for our marriage.

We were going insane! My days and nights all seemed to blend together, with no clear distinction, napping while she slept was not an option as it was only half an hour and I had work to do, which I know a lot of moms would agree with , I read the other day “Sleep while the baby sleeps, so that means; do laundry while the baby does laundry?” – The whole idea behind sleeping when the baby sleeps basically only works for the first few weeks after birth, no one expects you to do any household chores or cook or clean, but this level of sympathy quickly disappears as your baby gets a little older.

So I was in desperate need of some professional advice, hence; the sleeping consultant.

A sleeping consultant evaluates all aspects of your lives, and your baby’s, they analyse all information given to them and then they work out a sleep schedule and provide you with the needed information on how to execute this plan. Our consultant did four follow ups and I had to log all activities and sleeping during the day so that we can see if anything improves as we progress, she was very hands on and we talked every day , I was very impressed by the level of commitment on her behalf and she motivated me every step of the way, even the days I felt like giving up.

The first four days were intense, the reason for this is that we changed our baby’s routine, which every mother knows is chaos to say the least, and difficult for everyone to adjust to. Since day two she slept so well during the night and only had one bottle and then slept again, our lives changed, and we got the needed sleep.

But then daybreak came, and chaos with it!

My baby girl screamed every time I put her in her bed for a nap , no matter how tired she was, she just would have none of it, we had to resort to an “emergency nap” ( which is getting the baby to sleep no matter what it takes, there comes a time when getting your baby to sleep is more important then HOW they fall asleep) and then after a few days, this didn’t even work for us anymore, she knew when we put her in her pram it meant she must sleep , and as you can imagine, this now warranted for an even bigger screaming match  than placing her in her bed.

I honesty almost gave up, and the consultant just reassured me that consistency is key and that she would eventually realize that sleeping is not that bad. She was right, day five, everything started to change, she would sleep when she needed to and wake up much later than half an hour.

It took us about 2 weeks to establish a sleep routine and to get into the groove of things, both us and her, her crying (and mine) came to an end and we have our lives back! I would recommend getting a sleep consultant for any mother having issues with their baby’s sleep.

That being said; there were some days in these two weeks that I could see my baby was struggling and was just not having a good day, whether it be teething or her just not feeling herself, the intense routine went out the window, I honestly believe that we know our babies best, and we know when they need what, I followed the sleep plan for the most part, but I still believe that babies are individuals and also have “off days” just like we do , and we cannot expect every day to go according to plan and the way we would like it, babies are hard work , and some days are hard being a mother, and no consultant in the world is going to make your life perfect.

There is nothing like a mother’s love!

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How my own sleeping patterns are making more sense since having a baby

I for one have never really paid much attention to sleeping, loved it, need it, done. No analyzing needed on this one, since becoming a mother though, I have come to realize just how vital it all really is, and how complicated it is.

My husband and I always talk about “the sleep window” – this window is that sweet spot where our baby girl is tired enough to go to bed, but not too tired or overtired, we often miss it as you can imagine, so this window is so important to narrow down, for everyone’s sake.

I have since realized that I have a similar “window” for sleep; I get into bed, and if I do not start overthinking on the silliest things, I can go to sleep quite easily, if this does not happen, and I start thinking, it is as if I am not tired all of a sudden. This made me think, it is exactly what happens to my baby, she is tired, gets overstimulated by the smallest thing, and boom; she is alert again (still tired though, and then we go to the dark side – over tiredness).

So now, not only are we vigilantly watching our baby for her “sleep window”, I am now also aware of my own “sleep window” ha ha (as if I did not have enough to do).

For us, the biggest struggle with our baby has been sleep, our household is ruled by nap time and awake time and windows of all sorts, how life has changed since we became parents, I used to sleep in on weekends until about 10 AM, now I am up at 5 AM and by 10 AM i have done so many things, that I could almost fit a whole day in to those 5 hours.

Late nights for me is just not an option; on the one hand, going out and having fun is amazing and sometimes just what you need , but on the other hand, you hate yourself for doing it at 5 am the next morning, so for me, this is just not worth it at this time. I do believe that once our baby can go stay at grandma’s house for the night , this will definitely change !

Sleep is vital not only to our sanity but to our overall well-being, it is what gives us the energy to tackle the next day, and any situation we might face, we do not always realize just how important sleep is to our health, so many studies out there have proven that it helps with metabolism, skin, mental health, and so much more, yet we seem to brush it off because we have too much to do.

So there you go ladies, go have your nap, its vital to your health!

And So It All Starts … ||Marriage

So my husband and I have always eventually ended up on the same page with issues in life , we respect our differences (mostly) and we always try to end up with a compromise that we are both happy with.

HOWEVER , since Paige was born the disagreements started to become more frequent , never about anything other than her , how we put her to bed and get her to sleep , her dummy , her eating , who has to get up , and the list goes on and on !

It is amazing how such a small little human can come and change literally everything in your life , we are going through a period where we are struggling to get her into a sleeping schedule , so my whole day revolves around getting her to nap , and yes you guessed it , most of the time she just laughs at me in her cot 😩🤣

And yes that means all we talk about is her and how we can do things differently , and off course the moment my husband says anything I feel offended and feel like he is saying I am a bad mother ….. its a vicious cycle !

Thats why we decided on getting a sleeping consultant , that way , its a third party telling us what we are doing wrong and how to fix it , and no one gets offended 🤪

Angelique

Freedom | Alone At Long Last

So yesterday I left my baby with my mother in law and my husband , and went to town to do my nails and get a few things for the house all by myself for the very first time.

All I can say is WOW ! Although it was quite sad and made me nervous to leave her , it did me the world of good to be by-myself a little bit .

I realized that it really is a necessity to take a break , we live in a rural area and babysitting (unless it is in laws) is not an option , although I am very blessed to be able to look after my baby myself , it does get to me to not do anything else and to not see other adults .

I had a nice few hours in town , and when I came back I could handle her teething and everything else , and it made me so jealous of other moms that get to work , even half day , I do go into the lodge everyday , but I take her with , and only spend about an hour there before she lets me know its time to leave 🙈

Thats why I think these little breaks are so important – absence makes the heart grow fonder , just a little reboot so to speak , just so you can appreciate everything again !

Heres to many more little breaks 🎉

Angelique

Today is a Good Day to Have a Good Day

So about 3 weeks ago , we started sleep regression …… if you read my posts there were A LOT about it hahaha

My husband and I even started to question literally everything we have been doing , all our methods , we even got into a few fights over it because it felt like he was telling me that everything I do with her was wrong , needless to say , it was a tough time for us !

Well ….. it passed !!!!

She has honestly been the best baby in the world the past 5 days ! It has been amazing , she sleeps , she plays , she eats , she smiles , she laughs , she even rolled over today for the first time !

What a relief ! I can honestly say , that every mom going through this must just hang in there , don’t go and change your routine to adapt to it , because it does blow over I promise.

Yay for Paige ! 👏🏻🤣

Angelique

Routine | Story of my Life

Babies LOVE routine !

Before I had Paige , I also used to like and even crave some sort of structure in my life and more specifically, in my daily routine !

Somehow , now having a baby , I struggle to get into a day routine with her , I try my best , but life , or my life , is just not always as predictable as we would like it to be !

I would time her first nap for the day and have the whole day planned out , and then boom , its noon and she hasn’t slept yet and I don’t know what happened to half of my day .

See , we live and work in a set up that allows for so many distractions and people in and out our house and running to the lodge quickly or answering a phone because someone else is busy , it seems like small deeds , but when you look at your watch again you missed the “nap window” and have now entered a very dangerous area known as over tiredness and over stimulation 🙈👀 It’s CHAOS !

And even though I know this , somehow it always still creeps up on me !

So , as I am writing this , I am sitting in my baby’s room waiting for her to fall asleep in her cot , and right on time too ! (Yay me)

So heres to having more of a routine !

Angelique

You Are Spoiling Your Baby

So I am sure I am not the only one who has a grandmother in law that yells “you are spoiling her” whenever she sees my husband pushing Paige in the pram to sleep …. 🤣

In all honesty though this makes me so mad , for so many reasons; first , at this stage I will do WHATEVER it takes to get her to sleep, whether that means I must stand on my head humming a lullaby , so be it !

Second of all , I don’t believe that I can shower my baby with too much of anything quite frankly , she is only starting to see all the colors now , I mean , she does not understand why I am leaving her when she cries or why I don’t want to console her . Just thinking about this breaks my heart .

I will most probably be the strict parent between me and my husband , but at the appropriate age where she can learn right from wrong and understand consequences.

I honestly think this “spoiling ” thing is from the older generation , they all say and do it ….

At the end of the day , I would just prefer people disagreeing with my parenting in private , to their friends and husbands behind my back, like normal people 🤣

Cause quite frankly , its none of your business !

Angelique