The importance of your child’s happiness

Seeing my child smile is the only thing in the world that can turn the worst day right around ! She is always on my mind, even when I am thinking about something else, she is still somehow in the back of my mind, always there.

Granted, I am a stay at home mom, but I honestly believe that most if not all moms feel like this, being a mother becomes you ! In the greatest sense, it becomes the most important role in your life, overnight everything changes, for the better.

Lets face it, most days (especially if you have a toddler) you don’t necessarily reap the rewards of all your hard work, with the tantrums and the teething it can become quite easy to start blaming yourself for your child’s current mood.

I for one feel like I am not doing a good job if my baby does not have a constant smile on her face, which is utterly ridiculous. Being a toddler must be so hard, you have to master this great big world in front of you, and all you want to do is explore and figure things out for yourself, but there is this big grown up around every corner trying to stop you haha, must be frustrating right? Although watching every move they make is necessary, keep in mind that they are well, “easily upset” at this age haha, and their constant bursting into tears, is not a reflection of your parenting in any way.

But every now and then, you get those rare, but worth the wait days, and your child smiles, eats and sleeps and the day is so rewarding, you even get a few giggles out of it. These are the days when you feel like you are winning at life, your child is happy ! And all the rest just fades away and you would do it all over again (careful of these moments, because it was in one of these that we decided to get pregnant again) haha.

They just are worth all the sacrifices aren’t they!?

Advertisements

Parenting – What is happening ?

I have been asking myself this question multiple times a day for the last year (my baby is a year haha), and I know I am not alone on this one. In one of my previous posts I shared with you guys about my baby girl’s burns, and we have finally come to to the end, at the doc today they shared the good news that her bandages can come off in three days (Thank You Jesus). Then we get hit with an ear infection. At that moment every mom just feels defeated, even just for a minute, here we are, we spent 4 weeks in bandages and screaming and a very unhappy little girl, and its all about to change, then the universe throws you a “nope just kidding” move and its all out the window.

Worse part is that I have always kind off thought that she has a good immune system, yet, despite all my efforts (and I mean it all) she has been on antibiotics 4 times in one year already (her first year of life might I add). Life with a baby is so unpredictable, the one day they eat so well and you feel like super mom and the next she spits out the exact same piece of corn she so loved yesterday.

There are ten thousand books out there on how to do all of this, and most of it wont apply to your baby. Thats the saddest part of all of this, so much sound advice out there, but your baby hates it all for some reason. I see it all as more of a “suggestion” than rules to live by. Each person thinks that they have it all figured out at some point, the reality is that it all changes so quickly. My baby still does not sleep through, and we have tried it ALL. She eats (well sometimes) she is happy during the day and has enough naps for the right amount of time , she plays enough. “Technically” there is nothing wrong, and no reason why she is not sleeping through the night yet.

Only to come to the conclusion that maybe she just does not like to sleep , ever though of that ?! Haha. Maybe she just has FOMO ? Who knows, all I know is that we have let it all go, we are just happy that she is healthy and smiling and enjoying life – which is all that matters !

At the end of the day, instead of pressuring both you and baby to fit into this “ideal world”, throw that book away, seriously ! Parenting is so hard already, you do not need some book (or person) telling you that everything you are doing is wrong . That book has no motherly instinct and definitely does not know you baby or your family.

I am not saying don’t ask for help, and there are legitimate experts out there that has the best advice, I am just saying that being a parent should be fun in-between all the stress and the hormones, just because you don’t live up to some book does not mean you are not doing it right.

You just be the best you ! The best mom you can be ! Because it is enough ❤️

Raising a strong willed daughter

I am a very strong willed person , I hate it when someone tells me what to do and I honestly struggle to take advice from people and always want to do it my own way, I am also very stubborn (can you tell? Lol).

I am much better now that I am more mature haha, I have learned to let people in and to be more flexible and well, less selfish. As luck would have it, it seems like my little baby girl is just like her mama.

on the one hand I sympathize with her because I know what it feels like to want to do things yourself, but on the other hand, well she is 1 haha. So she is going to have to learn to accept my help in some cases, but my parenting style has changed somewhat, she hates when you try to force her or help her to do anything. The moment you put her bottle down so she can take it herself, she calms down.

It is basically like this with everything she does, we are just going through a phase where she wants to do everything herself but she just cant yet and this frustrates the hell out of her. She is also still in bandages from her accident and that frustrates her even more. 🙈

This parenting thing throws me for a loop everyday, the one minute you are on top of the world and your baby is happy, sleeping and eating, and the next minute she hates everything and everyone and she is a different baby.

It really must be hard to be this small , no one can understand you, you have all these ideas and cant do anything by yourself, and everyone wants to make you sleep all the time. Patience is key when raising a toddler, taking into account all the emotions and frustrations they are having tends to make them quite temperamental and trying to get them to do something at that moment just results in chaos.

I have honestly learned to be more patient, with her, with myself and with my husband. Once you start a family things don’t seem to happen as quickly and as easily as they did before, before; I just grabbed my handbag and out the door I went. Now however, it takes a whole day of planning before we can go anywhere lol.

I am not going to lie, all of this takes some getting used to, and a few deep breaths daily, but its all worth it, and she will grow up and we will grow old, and we will all miss the days where she refused to eat and cried until you pick her up. Cherish these memories because they are fleeting.

How time makes you a stronger parent

When my husband and I first brought our baby girl home, I remember how sore our warms used to be for days, from holding her and breastfeeding (she only weighed 2,95 kilos), now she weighs 10 kilos and we cary her around a lot (she is in that clingy phase where she wants to get picked up ALL THE TIME) and yet our arms don’t get sore quickly anymore, in-fact, I even get a few things done around the house while carrying her.

And that is what motherhood does to you, it makes you stronger, selfless and oh so much more motivated in life. When something happens in your personal or work life that upsets you or throws you a curveball, having a baby teaches you to just get through it, you cant sit in a corner and feel sorry for yourself, because your baby still needs attention and sleep and food and and. There is no time to take to mope around or to wallow. You get up and you push through it.

Sleep is another example, for the first 9 months I struggled so much without a proper night’s sleep, now , I don’t really mind, I get up at night and I am okay, I am not even moody anymore, I think I have maybe just admitted defeat. Haha

Being a mother changes your life ! And it is such a blessing to be able to have a little human. And being stronger for it, Here’s to strong women, may we know them, may we raise them and may we be them. 🙏🏻❤️

Freedom | Alone At Long Last

So yesterday I left my baby with my mother in law and my husband , and went to town to do my nails and get a few things for the house all by myself for the very first time.

All I can say is WOW ! Although it was quite sad and made me nervous to leave her , it did me the world of good to be by-myself a little bit .

I realized that it really is a necessity to take a break , we live in a rural area and babysitting (unless it is in laws) is not an option , although I am very blessed to be able to look after my baby myself , it does get to me to not do anything else and to not see other adults .

I had a nice few hours in town , and when I came back I could handle her teething and everything else , and it made me so jealous of other moms that get to work , even half day , I do go into the lodge everyday , but I take her with , and only spend about an hour there before she lets me know its time to leave 🙈

Thats why I think these little breaks are so important – absence makes the heart grow fonder , just a little reboot so to speak , just so you can appreciate everything again !

Heres to many more little breaks 🎉

Angelique

Timing is Everything ⌛️

Today I find myself thinking about time , and how it really does heal all wounds , in every way imaginable, yes we bear the scars and we change , but yet most of us persevere in the end !

About a year and a half ago we lost my stepdad to suicide , I though my family would never recover and my mom would never be the same again , I thought I would have to pick up all the pieces and put so much pressure on myself to bear my family’s sadness so that they would not feel it as much , look , this post is not about depression and suicide , but just the fact that we all go through unimaginable sadness at one point or another , and yet a year and a half later , we are all living our lives .

The same goes for motherhood, especially being a first time mom , it IS traumatizing, it is overwhelming when those hormones hit at day 4 , and you do think that you will never have your life back and you would never be able to handle this stress !

Yet , here we all are , babies are okay and we are stronger and better for all the pressure and stress we put on ourselves ! 💪🏻

And so the same goes for any other difficult time that we all go through …. it ALWAYS gets better with time !

My dad always said “The only way out is through”

So for those of you that are going through something in your life , hang in there ! It all passes ! ❤️

Angelique

A Woman’s Body is an Amazing Thing

Let’s talk about pregnancy ….

Oh my word ! I know you get women that LOVE being pregnant and see it as this magical time in your life….

Well for me it was a bit different 🙈🤣

I had ; Nausea, headaches, heartburn, constipation, mood swings, irritation, weight gain, swelling, bladder infection, yeast infections, sore body , dehydration and landed up in the hospital, flu and the list goes on and on !

Although I do agree with the fact that it is a special time , I do believe that it is a kind of right of passage for a woman and it is all so so worth it in the end , it takes so much out your body !

In some ways my body is so different after giving birth , I had a c section so I have the well known belly flap , I cant hold my pee anymore ; it needs to happen RIGHT NOW 😂

But in other ways I am amazed at how well my body has recovered , the heartburn is gone , although the belly flap is still there it is already significantly smaller , I have no bladder issues anymore, my body feels healthy again (except the excessive hair loss at the moment) .

I find this fascinating , how your body can endure all that and only have little tell tails about it , yes I have stretch marks and my body looks a bit different, but I am healthy and I have a healthy little baby girl and thats all that matters ❤️

Thankful 🙏🏻💪🏻

Angelique