The importance of setting boundaries for your toddler

Thinking about starting to discipline your toddler is overwhelming , especially if it is your first child, both of you are basically unsure of what is supposed to happen now haha.

Firstly you need to figure out what you are comfortable with, and what you believe is “discipline”, with that being said, don’t lend your ear easily to mom groups out there with millions of opinions, all which are , well , not yours. They don’t know your home, your family or your parenting style. Once you have decided how you are going to set boundaries for your toddler, you need to grow a thicker skin overnight lol. Setting boundaries is not only necessary for your household, but your toddler needs it, needs to learn what is acceptable and what not, when things get difficult (and they will) you need to remind yourself that you are trying to raise a well rounded human being who, with the right skills, and go out and conquer the world.

I strongly believe that toddler were put on this earth to test us, and push our limits as far as possible and then some more. The most challenging part is knowing when to take a minute and comfort them and when to draw the line. A lot of the time, the crying spell is due to them being upset, and not knowing how to process their emotions, our role as parents are to help them and teach them to calm themselves down without getting what they want. Distraction usually works the best, or to simply let them cry it out until they realize it is not happening lol, it all depends on your child’s threshold and how much they can take before you reach the point of no return (which usually involves hysterical crying).

As with every stage of parenting; it all just makes you stronger and teaches you something new. One way or another we will get them and ourselves through this lol . If one of you found a foolproof way of disciplining your toddler let me know and we can swap war stories!

Adulthood VS Parenthood

By now we all know that growing up is a trap and you should avoid it at all costs !

Adulthood is so much more difficult than any of us ever thought, your parents always tell you that you need to enjoy being little , enjoy school because working is horrible, enjoy not having to cook or having to pay bills, yet all we see is the illusion of “freedom” that adulthood supposedly brings. When in reality, the sad truth is that you cant always do what you want, and you actually had much more freedom when you were in school, freedom from worries, anxiety, financial troubles, marriage issues, stress, self doubt and the list goes on and on. Not to say that life as a teenager is this day and age is always easy, but it sure beats being in your late 20’s.

This all seems like child play the moment you have your first child, and keeps upping itself with each child after that. Being responsible for someone else’s life is so intense , and the responsibility to raise a somewhat decent human being in this world is a huge challenge, once you start thinking about all of this it feels like you cant breathe and you have no idea how you will handle it all, yet you just do. You have no excuses when you have a child, no “day off” when you need time to yourself or you need a break, you learn to power through with a smile on your face like nothing is wrong. Because thats what you do when you are a parent.

To me, thats the difference between adulthood and parenthood, I cant speak for anyone else, but I changed so much when I became a mother, I never really felt “grown up” until I met this tiny little human that changed literally everything in my life (not saying that not having children is in any way a bad thing, or the wrong a choice or a choice at all, I am simply sharing my own experience).

Parenting is both the most rewarding and the most terrifying thing I have ever done, and I would do it all over again if it means I get to have this amazing little human in my life ❤️

Does it get easier as they get older ?

A few months back, when my baby was about 8 months old; she started teething, I honestly thought this is it, it cant get any worse than this, she wasn’t sleeping, she had no appetite and she was extremely moody.

Fast forward to the present where she is 14 months old, and I wish it was as “difficult” as it was then haha. I think it has the same affect as the “I wish I was as fat as I thought I was in high school” bit . My baby has this thing where she will cut 4 teeth in about 3 weeks of utter hell, then she takes a few months break of no teething. Then ….. dum dum dum , cuts two molars and two lateral incisors at the same time !! Send help !

She is getting so sick, she is so sore at night and barely sleeps, wakes up crying several times and basically is just miserable all the time. It makes you feel so helpless , it feels like nothing helps, nothing eases her or makes her more comfortable (trust me, I have done everything and still do just incase it helps a little bit), it is as if the further along we get with this teething business, the worse it gets ! 🙈

Beating yourself up because your child got sick again for the 7th time in a few months seems to also be a new state of normal, we live 70km’s from the nearest town, she stays home with me , and yet, she still gets sick ! So for those moms that say their children get sick from daycare, trust me, they would still get sick if they weren’t in daycare.

No guts no glory I say, having children can be so intense and challenging but so rewarding and worth it at the same time, confusing right ? Welcome to motherhood !

Giving your toddler what he/she needs

Learning when to say yes and when to say no to your toddler is a very thin line, one I tread very carefully everyday, my motivation is what makes it more difficult; am I saying yes to avoid a tantrum, or am I saying yes because the activity will allow her to learn, grow and have fun.

Some days I honestly wish I could send her to daycare just so that someone else can think of what to do to keep her busy and entertained, and then I look over at her and just realize I would give her the world if she asked.

I know all toddlers are busy and difficult, but they are still individuals, and as much as we would like to compare with friends and family members, but it is just not that simple. They all need different things , all the time, and the perks of having a toddler is that these needs may very well change every day.

Toddlerhood is like a rollercoaster ride that you cant stop, just when you think its over, you head for another 90 degree drop. Living on the edge I say haha, things can change at any given moment, I’ve learnt to be prepared for anything, nothing she does can surprise me anymore, its like I have a boy on my hands, she climbs on everything, she tests all boundaries and she has absolutely no fear ! While her mom on the other hand has ALL THE FEAR !

Being a mother to a newborn has taught me resilience, how to get by on very little sleep, and what true love is. Having a toddler on the other hand has pushed all my limits even further, and still are. I have never in my life been this busy, and I mean physically haha, she needs constant stimulation or else she gets frustrated, she gets bored with one thing so easily and all she wants to do is be outside , to play in water, sand, both or just plain climbing on everything she sees. Its nerve wrecking !!

Toddlerhood has taught me patience; she cant even speak yet and she is already giving me sass and talking back to me when I yell at her, on the one hand it is adorable and on the other hand I realize I am going to have my hands full for the next few years or so ! Lol

Some days are hard, some are just so worth it that I would do it all again in a heartbeat, and then some days I want to run away haha, raising a strong willed little person takes its toll, and learning to know what to say yes to is a fine line that I am not quite sure of just yet, haha, but once I figure it out I will let you guys know 😘

Pregnancy Hormones

I dont even need to give this one a clever worded title, it is what it is, and most of you will understand. If you are one of those “Pregnancy does not affect my mood” people, then I am happy for you, but move along, this post is not for you haha.

I have suffered from intense mood swings with both my pregnancies (currently about 10 weeks pregnant), and it has sucked. Not feeling like yourself emotionally or mentally is worse than not feeling yourself physically (well to me anyway).

Having no control over what you feel makes you feel like you lost all control over everything in your life, you overreact to everything and you know it, and cant stop it . Haha sounds crazy right ? Well it feels crazy !

On the other hand, I must admit that my second pregnancy so far seems to be a little bit better, I feel like I can control my moods a little bit more, whether it is that my body has been through this before, or because I am more mature, I will never know. Maybe it is also because I know what is ahead and am trying to pace myself or prepare myself for what is ahead haha.

We as women go through such an intense time becoming mothers, we loose control over our entire bodies for well more than nine months (including breastfeeding), we go through an intense transformation where we forget completely about ourselves and focus all our attention and affections on this tiny little human that is apart of us. Its overwhelming, its terrifying and it is the most important thing I have ever done with my life, and will ever do.

What we go through is something that no one else will understand until they go through it themselves, and even then; everyone feels different and handles situations differently, learning to respect each other for our differences is what is important.

So lets build women up, because we are rockstars and endure so much for out families.

👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻