Baby Fever Its Real and its Scary

My baby girl just tuned 9 months old, and I feel like I really want another one already, I mean am I crazy?! I probably am !

Today I looked through all Paige’s baby pictures and I got so broody its insane, then I thought about it; I think the reason I want another baby so badly is because it feels like I never really appreciated her being so small,in between the stress and anxiety of being a first time mom and baby blues, I somehow missed it all.

But I guess all new moms feel the same way? I am just so excited for my second pregnancy, although knowing every pregnancy is different; I am excited to go through it kind of knowing what to expect and not freaking out over the little things and just enjoying the little things with my family. I will be waiting before we try for our second one, but I can already see Paige as a big sister and it warms my heart.

The Decision

What makes you decide to have another baby? Some look at the age difference, others at their finances, the truth is that there are so many factors to consider, you want to give your second child the same life you give to your first, and you worry about the first one not getting as much attention.

The problem with these issues are that they might always be there, someone on e told me “if you are waiting until you are ready, you will wait forever”; when it comes to babies, there really is not a way to prepare you for what it to come haha.

There is a thin line between being realistic about another baby and to just do it and not to overthink it. You need to find the middle where you feel comfortable, just remember when you held your baby for the first time; the love you felt and how everything else just seemed to disappear, all the pain and the worrying, it was all worth it.

Starting a family is such a blessing, and something we all should cherish, do what you feel is best for your family, whether it be to have 10 children or 10 puppies. Just stay true to yourself and do what brings you joy.

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Traveling With an Infant 101

We recently flew to Perth with out then 7 month old baby girl. I was so stressed about the flight because I did not know what to expect.

Our experience however was a little bit all over the place; we flew with South African Airways which I swore I would never do again , and it was a balls up from start to finish !

We were told to book a bassinet for our baby girl , which we did , phoned three times to confirm it as I was so stressed about the flight. They assured me that it was all good. Long story short – we got on the plane and there was no bassinet . We ended up with two empty seats between us (thank goodness) and she slept there the flight , which went okay , she woke up a few times and we tried to give her bottle for take off and landing for her ears. All in all it went okay , we were exhausted but our baby didn’t scream the whole way, which was a win for me! 🤣👌🏻

The flight back was even worse, we ended up with no bassinet as they give them to the smaller babies first (which no one even told me) she ended up having to sleep on our laps, now my baby has never been one to cuddle or sleep on me or even sleep in a sling ! It was CHAOS ! But somehow we survived the whole process and ended up living to tell the tale.

This is maybe not what every mom out there wants to hear but my advice is to wing it – it sounds silly but every baby is so different and if it is your first time flying you have no idea how your baby will react or sleep on the plane. Prepare to sleep very little and just get through it , who knows, your baby might surprise you.

Jetlag

Jetlag on the other hand is a whole new ball game. Some say that you should start getting your baby on the new time zone by slowly adjusting their routine until they are used to it, this however is crazy to me haha as that would mean I also have to be on that time zone ! But once you do that then at least you can enjoy your holiday once you arrive without having to deal with jetlag.

To us, honestly, waiting it out was the best option, she took about 4-5 days and we were all back to normal again, although a rough few days, she slowly got back onto the right time zone without having to force her to sleep or waking her up when she is not supposed to sleep.

So don’t panic, this too shall pass and it is so worth it traveling overseas with your baby . Take a deep breath and just do it, don’t overthink it. You can do it 👌🏻

Safe travels everyone ✈️

To all the mothers out there / Making 2019 YOUR year

Today I realised that January 2019 is almost over and I haven’t written a single thing!!

Wow right ? This is something I enjoy and use as a sort of “dear diary”, and yet I forgot about it completely and it doesn’t end there; I haven’t read one page of the books I love, I haven’t seen the friends I adore in ages and the list goes on and on.

Why you may ask ? Well I had a baby. The problem with this statement is that although this is true, it is not the only thing that keeps me from doing what I love and what brings me joy. Its the guilt that follows from not being “productive” while my baby is finally sleeping (I know I am not alone on this).

I seem to feel like I have to so everything myself , which is not true , my husband helps and everything does not have to be done in one day – hence the exhaustion.

The washing can wait a day (well sometimes anyway) the dishes can wait till tonight, sometimes you just have to take a minute during the day to do something that brings YOU joy. Selfish right ? NO ! The happier you are , the happier your kids will be , it overflows into so many areas of our lives and we don’t even realize it. Being more relaxed and happier tends to also be good for your marriage or relationship; you are less irritable and even feel a little bit more rested and positive.

I for one don’t believe in new years resolutions, I believe that you can make changes and better yourself any day of the year , and the best time is NOW ! Make time for yourself, do more of what you enjoy, even if you literally have to schedule it to make it happen. If there is a will there is a way.

Heres to more writing and reading in 2019 !

To the mom who craves control

This post is very personal to me,and something about myself that I never knew.

The Control Freak

I somehow, NEED control , in every situation in my life, in any way that I can. Without realizing it, it has taken all the fun out of everything, I somehow think that if I can anticipate everything and be prepared for it, that I would be able to handle it better, even as I am typing this, I realize how silly that sounds, but still very real.

I feel that I cant go on “unplanned” excursions because my baby is in a routine (and so am I for that matter) and it was not on my to do list, so I cant go. Before Paige was born I was quite spontaneous, loved the unexpected and thrived under pressure. Motherhood has somehow changed all of this, I have turned into someone who cant go out at night because I don’t want to risk a screaming session in a restaurant – for the fear of someone thinking I am not a good mother.

Red Flags

Now, with my psychology background I can tell you that everythingI just wrote raises sooo many red flags.

  • Firstly, isolating yourself from social events and friends is so unhealthy, and it sets an example for your children as they grow up. My baby girl is so happy when we are out and about, she takes so much in and just enjoys looking around and staring and smiling at the people.
  • Secondly; setting this “paranoid” vibe for my baby just creates so many issues later on in life for her, I basically will be teaching her to be careful, with everything, to not be bold, brave and adventurous – like I used to be.

Learning to “Breathe”

At the end of the day, you simply can not control every situation life throws at you, sometimes you just have to let go a little bit and trust that everything will work out the way it was supposed to.

Babies are much more resilient than we give them credit for; the moment I stopped and started living a little again, she adapted so nicely, no screaming, and even though she struggles a little bit if she is out of routine, she so enjoys doing something different every now and then. ( I still believe in routine don’t get me wrong, and my baby girl is a bit older now).

We need to realize that our babies will cry, they will eventually throw that supermarket tantrum we have been fearing all our lives, they will get sick, people will judge your parenting, your baby will be unhappy sometimes and that does not mean that you failed, it simply means that life does not always go our way, and thats okay. (Yes that rhymed)

The moment we learn to breathe and take things in stride, life automatically becomes easier, we look at life differently and see opportunities we never would have. It just opens up a whole new world, one I am excited to explore !

Just keep at it, changing the way you live life takes time, constant reminding and a whole lot of patience with yourself.

Motherhood is far from glam

I stay at home with my baby girl, and yesterday it was midday and I glanced at myself in the mirror for the first time that day… and cringed! – What!? Is that really what I look like !

I had a C-Section, and needless to say; my tummy looks and feels horrible. It does not even feel like it is attached to my body some days. In the beginning, after the surgery, I could handle it because it would get better with time, now, 7 months later, it has gotten better but I HATE my body !

It has gotten so bad that it is actually affecting my marriage, and just everything really, clothes shopping is something that I used to LOVE, now I dread it! I even get dressed in the bathroom so that my husband does not see me naked in the light. I know this might seem extreme to some, and it definitely does to my husband (who bless him, still thinks I am gorgeous), but I just don’t feel good about myself.

Isn’t it weird how we can be our own worst critics? No one is harder on someone than you with yourself, on the one hand its good because you should push yourself to be better, but sometimes (like in my case) it becomes a sort of obsession, obsession to look like that woman on TV that your husband stared at, obsession to think that people who walk pass you think “wow she is fat”. When in reality , they don’t even notice you, they are busy battling their own insecurities.

At the end of the day, you always have a decision, I can either hate my body and wallow in self pity, or I can try to do something about it, exercise a little eat a bit healthier, even if the results are not miraculous or amazing, just trying would also make me feel a bit better.

So here is to being happier, and healthier.

The “mom itch”

Ever notice how once you start doing something with your baby , and you have no free hands, you start itching somewhere ? The mom itch!

As if motherhood is not hard enough already right? Now you find yourself trying to hold a bottle with your chin while trying to scratch your nose with your way too short arm! In reality it is called “phantom itching” but I truly think its the mom itch, it always happens when I am busy with my baby girl, and ALWAYS when I cant scratch !

The moment I stop with what I am doing, the itch goes away! It is so frustrating, and no way to stop it from happening again. This is one of those phenomenas that makes no sense, just like motherly instinct and how you can function on 2 hours of sleep. Yet, all of the above is very real.

This made me think of all the things we as moms go through that no one sees; the emotional turmoil when your baby is crying, hurting or just unhappy, the hurt when your partner goes straight to bed instead of spending some time alone with you, the tiredness that comes with it all. It can be so difficult some days that it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, yet, the next day; we do it all over again.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to keep quiet because I feel like my husband and friends don’t really understand how I feel or what I am going through, and sometimes I just do not know how to put my feelings into words, keeping my feelings to myself just less effort in the long run.

Its like an itch you cant scratch, knowing that if you talk about it; it will only turn into a fight and you will still feel alone at the end of it. Being a mother comes with so many internal struggles that we often don’t talk about to others.

Sometimes , just sometimes, it is okay to put yourself first, to take a moment and give your baby to someone for a few hours and just let it all out, have a good cry, go for a walk , get some retail therapy, read a few pages of that book you haven’t touched, just take a moment.

I am horrible at this, when I leave my baby with someone, I always feel like I have to hurry back, like that person is doing me a favor and therefore I must not push it because maybe they wont do it again then.

In reality though, most people that offer to babysit; understand that moms need a break, and wont even mind if you take that extra half an hour to go for a pedicure instead of rushing back home. For me; this is an ongoing process, I am learning everyday that it is okay to take a minute, some days I feel more anxious than others , but I am getting there.

Take a break, it is so rewarding and just so necessary for a healthier, happier you!

How to decide on which products to buy for your baby

Oh my word there is just so much out there these days, that I have no idea what to use and what not to use, the worst part of it all is; is that there are so many good products and devices out these days, that it really comes down to which one you like more, or is cuter. This must really be a big challenge to companies out there to make their product more attractive than the next one (so glad that is not my job).

I have three slings, we actually just bought another one today, more expensive than all the rest – ridiculous right? the reason for the other three are because people told me to buy them because they work, well, that is just it, it does work – for them. It is so difficult these days to decide which would work better for your baby, previously, you would just buy the one with the best reviews and one that is “pricey” and you know you made the right decision, but now there are just too many products out there with good reviews.

I myself have tried a few, and have now found what works best for me and my baby, i will share a few with you guys;

The 4 Stage Car Seat

We bought a travel system, you know, those that come with a pram and a car seat. This worked so well for us when she was a newborn, you could leave her in her car seat if she was sleeping and just transfer her to her pram, hassle free.

The problem with this system, is that this car seat basically only works for the first 6 months (for us anyway) she got too tall for the car seat and it became increasingly difficult to put her in and take her out when going places (as she now refused to sleep in it when in the pram). We ended up buying a car seat that has 4 stages – from birth till 36 kilograms. It faces backwards until about 9 kilograms and then it can face forward, its more comfortable and so much easier to put her into.

The reason I am suggesting this is that, although the normal car seat works well when your baby is a newborn, this stage of life is so fleeting and before you know it, you have to spend double the amount to buy a bigger car seat anyway. So for us, we will use this one for our next baby from the start.

Stokke My Carrier

We currently have 4 baby carriers (yes I know don’t judge), i so badly wanted to be a “babywearer” that i was adamant it was just the wrong sling. Now, 7 months later, we found the “stokke my carrier” and I was right ! (well maybe, could also be because she is now older, who knows), but it works, she loves it, and we are now planning on using it for our trip to Australia this week.

This carrier is a three in one (front facing, outward facing, and a back carrier) it grows with your baby, and you can use it up until 15 kilograms/ 3 years old. It is truly amazing and so comfortable to wear and easy to use, I don’t need my husband’s help to put her in or take her out.

All and all, we are very happy with this product, although it is a bit more expensive, it is worth every penny, and we see it as an investment.

At the end of the day, it comes down to what works for you, your lifestyle, are you out and about more with your baby, or traveling more, all these aspects play a role in which products you use for your baby, these two products are just a few examples of what to consider, and the possibilities are endless, so take a breath, read through all the reviews and try a few before making your decision.

As new moms, we always have this “idea” of how it will be having a baby, and what we would like to do with them, this however, is rarely reality (ask me i know), so wait a while, get to know your baby and yourself as a mother before making expensive purchases.

Happy shopping moms 🙂