How important it is to be in tune with your emotions

Like most moms (although there are a lucky few), pregnancy effects my mood 100% most of the day. With Paige , I seemed to have been very emotional and sensitive. This time around however, I am more impatient and quick to anger.

Lately my toddler has been insanely difficult, needy, clingy and also quick to anger, it took me a while, but I finally realized that its me! She feeds off of my emotions, and obviously picks up that my patience is less than before and that in turn, makes her feel unsure and confused as it all affects her environment (granted, she is growing up and some moods wings are inevitable).

Since then I have tried to get to know myself better, not to stop the emotions, but to recognize them. To realize that I am feeling overwhelmed because I am tired , or irritated because I am nauseous etc. knowing what I feel and why I feel it, makes it easier to take a deep breath and let it go. Instead of wallowing in it and letting it affect my relationships and the overall “vibe” in the house.

Easier said then done right ? We all know those pregnancy hormones take over and is impossible to control (true for the most part), but you can control how you react to them. Practice makes perfect , it may take a while, and it does not mean that it will work every time, after all, we are all only human. But I strongly believe that once you can control how you react to all your emotions and understand why you are feeling what you are feeling; you will be stronger for it, and at the same time. Set a good example for your children and other members of the family.

On the other hand, knowing why you are feeling what you are feeling, also makes it easier to get help or to fix it quicker. It sounds so straight forward right ? Wrong ! Many people don’t even realize when they are stressed. So knowing what you feel might even take some practice to begin with.

Either way , it is a skill worth mastering and will make life much easier for both you and your partner (and children) in the long run, and will most definitely help with your blood pressure and those sleepless nights.

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Parenting – What is happening ?

I have been asking myself this question multiple times a day for the last year (my baby is a year haha), and I know I am not alone on this one. In one of my previous posts I shared with you guys about my baby girl’s burns, and we have finally come to to the end, at the doc today they shared the good news that her bandages can come off in three days (Thank You Jesus). Then we get hit with an ear infection. At that moment every mom just feels defeated, even just for a minute, here we are, we spent 4 weeks in bandages and screaming and a very unhappy little girl, and its all about to change, then the universe throws you a “nope just kidding” move and its all out the window.

Worse part is that I have always kind off thought that she has a good immune system, yet, despite all my efforts (and I mean it all) she has been on antibiotics 4 times in one year already (her first year of life might I add). Life with a baby is so unpredictable, the one day they eat so well and you feel like super mom and the next she spits out the exact same piece of corn she so loved yesterday.

There are ten thousand books out there on how to do all of this, and most of it wont apply to your baby. Thats the saddest part of all of this, so much sound advice out there, but your baby hates it all for some reason. I see it all as more of a “suggestion” than rules to live by. Each person thinks that they have it all figured out at some point, the reality is that it all changes so quickly. My baby still does not sleep through, and we have tried it ALL. She eats (well sometimes) she is happy during the day and has enough naps for the right amount of time , she plays enough. “Technically” there is nothing wrong, and no reason why she is not sleeping through the night yet.

Only to come to the conclusion that maybe she just does not like to sleep , ever though of that ?! Haha. Maybe she just has FOMO ? Who knows, all I know is that we have let it all go, we are just happy that she is healthy and smiling and enjoying life – which is all that matters !

At the end of the day, instead of pressuring both you and baby to fit into this “ideal world”, throw that book away, seriously ! Parenting is so hard already, you do not need some book (or person) telling you that everything you are doing is wrong . That book has no motherly instinct and definitely does not know you baby or your family.

I am not saying don’t ask for help, and there are legitimate experts out there that has the best advice, I am just saying that being a parent should be fun in-between all the stress and the hormones, just because you don’t live up to some book does not mean you are not doing it right.

You just be the best you ! The best mom you can be ! Because it is enough ❤️

Second pregnancy jitters

Somehow, realistically, you have this image in your mind about what your second pregnancy would be like , all the things you would do differently and you imagine yourself serene and calm this time around.

Well, can I please just burst your little “happiness” bubble; one week ago my breasts were so tender I could barely sleep, yet, I still ended up googling whether that is an early pregnancy symptom because I cant remember if I had it the first time around. I know right !?

That just proved to me; that although I have technically went through this all before, each pregnancy is different and with each pregnancy I believe that a woman changes, not her personality was per say, but what we can each handle, out priorities and our “breaking point”. I believe this point moves further away with each baby and with each year that passes.

Somehow knowing what to expect is making me more nervous than I was the first time. This time around I am not naive I guess, I know the hard days and nights that are on the way, and I also know the intense love that you feel when you finally get to meet your baby! I guess I feel overwhelmed this time around, knowing that this love is just going to grow even bigger, and our little family is going to be even more awesome , and I guess I just need a moment to take it all in, to prepare my mind and my heart for whats about to hit us all 🤣

I have read some horror stories about having “2 under 2”, but like with everything in life I guess we will just have to wait and see, no turning back now ! I al just so excited !

Have any of you noticed how some people tend to “under react” the the news of a second baby? Silly I know, but when I shared the news the first time around everyone screamed and freaked out, this time everyone is just like “oh thats great” how are you otherwise. Haha. I don’t really know how to respond to these because I myself am extremely excited to be having another baby.

I guess people are just more relaxed about it and kind of feel like you know what you are doing now and therefore they wont shower you with unsolicited advice this time around (heres hoping).

Thats just it though, for me, it actually does not feel like my second pregnancy, the nerves are there just the same as before, I also feel unsure about my symptoms, the only difference is that I have this little girl that runs around and keeps me too busy to overthink and stress about the future.

So thanks to my toddler, the next 8 months should go by very quick 👌🏻

How becoming a mom has made me apprehensive

I don’t know if it is only me, but since I have become a mother I find myself in these moments where it feels like I cant catch my breath, it is like my mind is constantly racing and I cant relax. Motherhood right !? Lol

My husband seems to think that telling me to relax will do the trick, ha right? Granted, my baby did just get burnt so I am a little on the edge and worried about her like any mom would be, but I do feel like I need to learn how to shut off when the time is right.

There are countless factors that contribute to this “mom anxiety”; the one that I don’t really have anything that occupies my mind or distracts me, I don’t have any family or friends nearby, combine all of this with someone that overthinks EVERYTHING and then give that person a baby = CHAOS!

I am constantly doubting myself, whether she is getting sick, if I am giving her enough stimulation at home, exposing her to enough of the “outside world”, and well, if I am a good mother. I feel like I cant have a few drinks at night because she might wake up crying at any minute and then I am not my best self, which is what she deserves.

After thinking about this for so long and talking it over with other moms, I have finally realized that I am human, which means that I simply cannot be perfect all the time, I cant make the right decisions every single time and I cant be the best mother I can be when I am constantly in my head and overthinking everything, because in the end, that just takes away from the present and all the amazing moments with my family.

Taking a few deep breaths every time I feel overwhelmed or my heartbeat picking up, has really helped me keep things in perspective, and I strongly believe that the mind is a powerful thing, change your mindset and the rest will follow, practice makes perfect.

Constantly living in fear of failing is not living! So here’s to more deep breaths and a different outlook on life. 👌🏻💪🏻

Lets talk marriage

Okay so only moms will know what I am talking about; there is nothing that puts pressure on a marriage like having children !

Especially your first haha, looking back now it is crazy to think how much we fought, and by fought I mean taking everything out on each other, the lack of sleep, the stress from breastfeeding and just being a mom, the very big change in priorities and countless other issues that seemed to have overwhelmed us as new parents.

it changed literally every aspect of our marriage, you see each other differently, that man is the father of my child, and I am the mother of his child, it changes the way you love each other, you share this amazing bond now, and no matter what the future holds for the two of you, you are now always linked by your child, you will always be apart of each others lives.

And to be honest, having a baby takes the romance and mystery out of it all a tiny bit (okay a lot, between the post baby crying and huge pads), and some days you really need to dig deep to find time to be intimate or romantic because you are just so so tired.

But at the end of the day your relationship is stronger for it, we have only been married two years and our baby girl is now turning one, and it feels like we have known each other our whole lives because we have been through so much together in such a short time.

So yes , starting a family puts pressure on a marriage, but you know what they say “diamonds are formed under pressure”.

Don’t give up, you will get date nights again and romantic get aways before you know it!

Raising a strong willed daughter

I am a very strong willed person , I hate it when someone tells me what to do and I honestly struggle to take advice from people and always want to do it my own way, I am also very stubborn (can you tell? Lol).

I am much better now that I am more mature haha, I have learned to let people in and to be more flexible and well, less selfish. As luck would have it, it seems like my little baby girl is just like her mama.

on the one hand I sympathize with her because I know what it feels like to want to do things yourself, but on the other hand, well she is 1 haha. So she is going to have to learn to accept my help in some cases, but my parenting style has changed somewhat, she hates when you try to force her or help her to do anything. The moment you put her bottle down so she can take it herself, she calms down.

It is basically like this with everything she does, we are just going through a phase where she wants to do everything herself but she just cant yet and this frustrates the hell out of her. She is also still in bandages from her accident and that frustrates her even more. 🙈

This parenting thing throws me for a loop everyday, the one minute you are on top of the world and your baby is happy, sleeping and eating, and the next minute she hates everything and everyone and she is a different baby.

It really must be hard to be this small , no one can understand you, you have all these ideas and cant do anything by yourself, and everyone wants to make you sleep all the time. Patience is key when raising a toddler, taking into account all the emotions and frustrations they are having tends to make them quite temperamental and trying to get them to do something at that moment just results in chaos.

I have honestly learned to be more patient, with her, with myself and with my husband. Once you start a family things don’t seem to happen as quickly and as easily as they did before, before; I just grabbed my handbag and out the door I went. Now however, it takes a whole day of planning before we can go anywhere lol.

I am not going to lie, all of this takes some getting used to, and a few deep breaths daily, but its all worth it, and she will grow up and we will grow old, and we will all miss the days where she refused to eat and cried until you pick her up. Cherish these memories because they are fleeting.

How having a child has made us both more mature

My husband said something to me today “I think I am way more mature since Paige was born” – This really made me think, and wow its so true its scary.

About three months ago we joined an online fitness group and did a 12 week transformation, it was so intense but the results are amazing, and he said that he would have given up a long time ago before he was born.

We always think that becoming a parent only changes the mother, but it doesn’t, it changed my husband too, he doesn’t just go out at night anymore because he wants to be home to spend time with his family, he is much more disciplined than before and this is because of our routine with Paige. It teaches you to do things even though you don’t feel like it, because well you just have to.

Having a baby kind of teaches you how to “adult” properly haha. I have never really felt grown up until I had a child, you sort of step into a whole new community that you never really understood before, and yet we still are who we were, in a sense, personalities intact, just with different priorities.

I honestly believe that we all go through stages in life , I saw my sister go through them, we all are those people that cant go out drinking or clubbing until early morning because we have babies that still don’t sleep through , fast forward a few years and those same people are the ones that don’t want to leave the party because their children are finally sleeping through and can go to the toilet by themselves )(I myself am looking forward to those days lol).

Thats why it is so important to surround yourself with people that get it, that understand these stages and respect them, that can go through them with you , to laugh with and vent with (and drink with).

Having children changes every aspect of tour life, and in every way possible, and soon you find yourself wondering how you were ever content before your house was in such a mess ❤️