Let yourself get excited

Growing up sucks ! Haha , you have to learn to not only live with disappointment but also to accept it, learn to manage expectations and basically do a lot of things that you just don’t want to.

Now that I have painted that beautiful picture; I believe that we need to have balance in life, we need to be grown ups and be realistic most days, but just every now and then, I think it is okay to let go of all reason and be excited about the possibility of something.

In the beginning of the pregnancy, we are all paranoid, we know the statistics and story of women and miscarriages, the sad reality of it, so we don’t tell our family and friends until its “safe”, we don’t let ourselves get excited or let our minds imagine the future with this new little human.

Bring realistic can suck sometimes, and yes don’t blurt it out all over social media, but just for yourself and your partner, let yourself get a little excited, enjoy the moment you share and the possibility of this new little human, yes it might not all work out the way you want it to, but since we are being realistic, what in life has that type fo guarantee ? Nothing. Anything we do might not work out.

We need to find the balance between getting excited about new possibilities and managing expectations, which can be one of the hardest things in life. For me , I have learned to accept disappointment, so I get excited over new things and possibilities, and just know that if it does not work out I will deal with it.

Life is way too short to wait for disappointment around every corner, life is hard and disappointment is inevitable, but just every now and then, things work out ! The good guys win, and you get that happy ending !

Don’t ever let that “childlike” outlook on life fade completely.

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Sleeping Consultant – Is it worth is ?

A baby’s sleep is the biggest struggle for most new moms, and even second time moms all over the world, to me personally, it was the biggest struggle, the breastfeeding I could handle, the crying I could handle, but the lack of sleep was just too much to bare, it was affecting every aspect of my life; my job, my marriage and my overall well being and I am a strong believer that you cannot be the best mother you can be if you are unhappy.

Asking for help often makes new mothers feel like a failure, it certainly did for me, it felt like I failed as a mother because I was reading and hearing about all these mothers whose babies sleep through the night at the age of 2-3 months old, and immediately I felt like I wasn’t a good mother, I could not even get my baby to have a solid nap once a day.

I finally realized that this is just not true, just like we as grownups are all individuals and all have our own likes and dislikes, so babies do as well, each baby is unique and we should not compare our mothering to others (which is a very difficult thing to ask of any mother as it is so easy to start feeling insecure and second guess ourselves).

That is why my husband and I decided to get a sleeping consultant, we were getting up at an average of six times per night to give our baby girl her pacifier so that she would go back to sleep , she refused to nap for longer that 30 minutes during the day (she was a champion cat napper) , and she was just a difficult baby overall , once again; because of the lack of sleep.

We tried everything you can think of, and although the internet is an amazing thing, it gives broad advice, the advice you get is not tailored to your baby or your specific situation, and that can get confusing, I know that some moms have had great success with this, but for us, this just did not do the trick , my husband and I even started fighting because we each had our own idea about what would work, each confident it their own option. This created so much friction in our marriage, so getting a third party to give advice was the best thing we could have done, not only for our baby, but for our marriage.

We were going insane! My days and nights all seemed to blend together, with no clear distinction, napping while she slept was not an option as it was only half an hour and I had work to do, which I know a lot of moms would agree with , I read the other day “Sleep while the baby sleeps, so that means; do laundry while the baby does laundry?” – The whole idea behind sleeping when the baby sleeps basically only works for the first few weeks after birth, no one expects you to do any household chores or cook or clean, but this level of sympathy quickly disappears as your baby gets a little older.

So I was in desperate need of some professional advice, hence; the sleeping consultant.

A sleeping consultant evaluates all aspects of your lives, and your baby’s, they analyse all information given to them and then they work out a sleep schedule and provide you with the needed information on how to execute this plan. Our consultant did four follow ups and I had to log all activities and sleeping during the day so that we can see if anything improves as we progress, she was very hands on and we talked every day , I was very impressed by the level of commitment on her behalf and she motivated me every step of the way, even the days I felt like giving up.

The first four days were intense, the reason for this is that we changed our baby’s routine, which every mother knows is chaos to say the least, and difficult for everyone to adjust to. Since day two she slept so well during the night and only had one bottle and then slept again, our lives changed, and we got the needed sleep.

But then daybreak came, and chaos with it!

My baby girl screamed every time I put her in her bed for a nap , no matter how tired she was, she just would have none of it, we had to resort to an “emergency nap” ( which is getting the baby to sleep no matter what it takes, there comes a time when getting your baby to sleep is more important then HOW they fall asleep) and then after a few days, this didn’t even work for us anymore, she knew when we put her in her pram it meant she must sleep , and as you can imagine, this now warranted for an even bigger screaming match  than placing her in her bed.

I honesty almost gave up, and the consultant just reassured me that consistency is key and that she would eventually realize that sleeping is not that bad. She was right, day five, everything started to change, she would sleep when she needed to and wake up much later than half an hour.

It took us about 2 weeks to establish a sleep routine and to get into the groove of things, both us and her, her crying (and mine) came to an end and we have our lives back! I would recommend getting a sleep consultant for any mother having issues with their baby’s sleep.

That being said; there were some days in these two weeks that I could see my baby was struggling and was just not having a good day, whether it be teething or her just not feeling herself, the intense routine went out the window, I honestly believe that we know our babies best, and we know when they need what, I followed the sleep plan for the most part, but I still believe that babies are individuals and also have “off days” just like we do , and we cannot expect every day to go according to plan and the way we would like it, babies are hard work , and some days are hard being a mother, and no consultant in the world is going to make your life perfect.

There is nothing like a mother’s love!

Baby Fever Its Real and its Scary

My baby girl just tuned 9 months old, and I feel like I really want another one already, I mean am I crazy?! I probably am !

Today I looked through all Paige’s baby pictures and I got so broody its insane, then I thought about it; I think the reason I want another baby so badly is because it feels like I never really appreciated her being so small,in between the stress and anxiety of being a first time mom and baby blues, I somehow missed it all.

But I guess all new moms feel the same way? I am just so excited for my second pregnancy, although knowing every pregnancy is different; I am excited to go through it kind of knowing what to expect and not freaking out over the little things and just enjoying the little things with my family. I will be waiting before we try for our second one, but I can already see Paige as a big sister and it warms my heart.

The Decision

What makes you decide to have another baby? Some look at the age difference, others at their finances, the truth is that there are so many factors to consider, you want to give your second child the same life you give to your first, and you worry about the first one not getting as much attention.

The problem with these issues are that they might always be there, someone on e told me “if you are waiting until you are ready, you will wait forever”; when it comes to babies, there really is not a way to prepare you for what it to come haha.

There is a thin line between being realistic about another baby and to just do it and not to overthink it. You need to find the middle where you feel comfortable, just remember when you held your baby for the first time; the love you felt and how everything else just seemed to disappear, all the pain and the worrying, it was all worth it.

Starting a family is such a blessing, and something we all should cherish, do what you feel is best for your family, whether it be to have 10 children or 10 puppies. Just stay true to yourself and do what brings you joy.