The importance of setting boundaries for your toddler

Thinking about starting to discipline your toddler is overwhelming , especially if it is your first child, both of you are basically unsure of what is supposed to happen now haha.

Firstly you need to figure out what you are comfortable with, and what you believe is “discipline”, with that being said, don’t lend your ear easily to mom groups out there with millions of opinions, all which are , well , not yours. They don’t know your home, your family or your parenting style. Once you have decided how you are going to set boundaries for your toddler, you need to grow a thicker skin overnight lol. Setting boundaries is not only necessary for your household, but your toddler needs it, needs to learn what is acceptable and what not, when things get difficult (and they will) you need to remind yourself that you are trying to raise a well rounded human being who, with the right skills, and go out and conquer the world.

I strongly believe that toddler were put on this earth to test us, and push our limits as far as possible and then some more. The most challenging part is knowing when to take a minute and comfort them and when to draw the line. A lot of the time, the crying spell is due to them being upset, and not knowing how to process their emotions, our role as parents are to help them and teach them to calm themselves down without getting what they want. Distraction usually works the best, or to simply let them cry it out until they realize it is not happening lol, it all depends on your child’s threshold and how much they can take before you reach the point of no return (which usually involves hysterical crying).

As with every stage of parenting; it all just makes you stronger and teaches you something new. One way or another we will get them and ourselves through this lol . If one of you found a foolproof way of disciplining your toddler let me know and we can swap war stories!

Adulthood VS Parenthood

By now we all know that growing up is a trap and you should avoid it at all costs !

Adulthood is so much more difficult than any of us ever thought, your parents always tell you that you need to enjoy being little , enjoy school because working is horrible, enjoy not having to cook or having to pay bills, yet all we see is the illusion of “freedom” that adulthood supposedly brings. When in reality, the sad truth is that you cant always do what you want, and you actually had much more freedom when you were in school, freedom from worries, anxiety, financial troubles, marriage issues, stress, self doubt and the list goes on and on. Not to say that life as a teenager is this day and age is always easy, but it sure beats being in your late 20’s.

This all seems like child play the moment you have your first child, and keeps upping itself with each child after that. Being responsible for someone else’s life is so intense , and the responsibility to raise a somewhat decent human being in this world is a huge challenge, once you start thinking about all of this it feels like you cant breathe and you have no idea how you will handle it all, yet you just do. You have no excuses when you have a child, no “day off” when you need time to yourself or you need a break, you learn to power through with a smile on your face like nothing is wrong. Because thats what you do when you are a parent.

To me, thats the difference between adulthood and parenthood, I cant speak for anyone else, but I changed so much when I became a mother, I never really felt “grown up” until I met this tiny little human that changed literally everything in my life (not saying that not having children is in any way a bad thing, or the wrong a choice or a choice at all, I am simply sharing my own experience).

Parenting is both the most rewarding and the most terrifying thing I have ever done, and I would do it all over again if it means I get to have this amazing little human in my life ❤️

Raising a fussy eater

The one day she eats like a champion, eats everything I give her and even lets me feed her. The next day, she hates everything on earth (even though I spent hours in the kitchen making something special for her), spits everything out and throws the rest on the floor and its all met with a very mischievous smile.

The Reality

I read so many articles about “the ideal 15 month old” and these usually include some fantasy universe that I have never heard of – “three balanced meals a day, no more milk and 2 snacks” ; what !? I have days where she eats 3 cubes of cheese and has 4 bottles 🙈 and trust me, its not from a lack of trying or for me not caring, its after I have tried to get her to have 4 different meals with pasta cooked 3 ways and every little trick you can think of. It’s exhausting to the point where once she does eat those three cheese cubes it feels like I just won the lottery haha.

I have tried everything under the sun to get her to eat, one week everything goes great, the next she spits out everything I give to her, but make no mistake, she demands a piece of whatever I am eating, just to spit it out on the carpet and step on it, some days it takes real stenght to take a deep breath and try again. But in the end I do, and we just try again, its a learning curve to be honest, and every littel thing that does not go according to plan makes you very anxious as a new mother, hopefully I will be much more relaxed with the second one.

It gets worse

So I have been ranting on about how she does not want to eat anything, but what I did not tell you is that she is also going through “nap regression”; she is tryiing to drop one nap a day, which means she is transitioning to only one nap a day (keeping a toddler busy for most of the day is an adjustment for both of us haha). The problem with this is that she still falls asleep with her bottle, so at about 10 in the morning she is tired, cranky and yawning, so she is tired right? WRONG! haha, she lies in her bed with her bottle, has it, then throws it out the cot and yells till I go fetch her (this continues for about 2 hours before she actually goes to bed in the end), after which she has had about 3 bottles already (granted, only 90 ml each, but still). This leads to her skipping lunch because she is full, and we are nowhere closer to getting her off the formula.

Success

I have however found a follow up milk for after formula, we have been on it for a day and it is going great, her appetite seems to be a bit better as it does not make her as full as her formula does and then she is more willing to try new foods and to let me feed her what she cant eat herself, its early days so fingers crossed.

One thing I have realized since becoming a parent is that the whole thing is a learning curve, you learn as you go haha, each child is so different and they all have their own ideas about how they want things to go , and as much as we would like to say that our kids do not rule our worlds, lets face it , they just do.

The importance of playing with your toddler

I get so much joy out of spending time with my daughter these days, I just absolutely love this age , having a little toddler running around is so daunting some days, and just so so overwhelmingly cute the rest of the time.

She demands so much attention from me , that I rarely get to anything else in the house haha, she only plays with her toys if I sit down with her, she wants to sit on my lap or have me pick her up all the time. Even thinking about my days make me tired haha.

Some days I honestly get frustrated and short tempered with her, until I sit down and think of everything from her point of view; she has mastered so many skills lately and learned so many new ways to show me what she wants, yet no one really understands her, she wants to say so much and do so much but she just cant yet, and I can see the frustration on her face sometimes (hence the new tantrums we have been experiencing).

Every little thing that does not go her way upsets her so much that it takes about half an hour for her to calm down, then she finally has fun, chases our dog and then BAM !!! She tuns into the piano , and the tears start all over again. Sometimes it feels like you just can’t win and I think she feels exactly the same way.

Thats why it is so important to pick her up when she comes running to me for the millionth time a day, she needs me to tell her that it is all okay, that she can be however she needs to be and I will still love her at the end of the day, no matter what. We as parents are their safe place, coming from a background where it feels like I do not have that, it is very important for me that my children know they can always come “home” that I will always accept them 100% and will always put them first.

On a lighter note; on these days when I don’t feel like playing and she is being extremely difficult, playing with her on the floor is actually the one thing that takes my mind off of everything and make us both relax. There is just something about stacking blocks that puts the whole world into perspective.

Spending quality time with your toddler is not only important for them, but also for us ❤️

Giving your toddler what he/she needs

Learning when to say yes and when to say no to your toddler is a very thin line, one I tread very carefully everyday, my motivation is what makes it more difficult; am I saying yes to avoid a tantrum, or am I saying yes because the activity will allow her to learn, grow and have fun.

Some days I honestly wish I could send her to daycare just so that someone else can think of what to do to keep her busy and entertained, and then I look over at her and just realize I would give her the world if she asked.

I know all toddlers are busy and difficult, but they are still individuals, and as much as we would like to compare with friends and family members, but it is just not that simple. They all need different things , all the time, and the perks of having a toddler is that these needs may very well change every day.

Toddlerhood is like a rollercoaster ride that you cant stop, just when you think its over, you head for another 90 degree drop. Living on the edge I say haha, things can change at any given moment, I’ve learnt to be prepared for anything, nothing she does can surprise me anymore, its like I have a boy on my hands, she climbs on everything, she tests all boundaries and she has absolutely no fear ! While her mom on the other hand has ALL THE FEAR !

Being a mother to a newborn has taught me resilience, how to get by on very little sleep, and what true love is. Having a toddler on the other hand has pushed all my limits even further, and still are. I have never in my life been this busy, and I mean physically haha, she needs constant stimulation or else she gets frustrated, she gets bored with one thing so easily and all she wants to do is be outside , to play in water, sand, both or just plain climbing on everything she sees. Its nerve wrecking !!

Toddlerhood has taught me patience; she cant even speak yet and she is already giving me sass and talking back to me when I yell at her, on the one hand it is adorable and on the other hand I realize I am going to have my hands full for the next few years or so ! Lol

Some days are hard, some are just so worth it that I would do it all again in a heartbeat, and then some days I want to run away haha, raising a strong willed little person takes its toll, and learning to know what to say yes to is a fine line that I am not quite sure of just yet, haha, but once I figure it out I will let you guys know 😘

Pregnancy Hormones

I dont even need to give this one a clever worded title, it is what it is, and most of you will understand. If you are one of those “Pregnancy does not affect my mood” people, then I am happy for you, but move along, this post is not for you haha.

I have suffered from intense mood swings with both my pregnancies (currently about 10 weeks pregnant), and it has sucked. Not feeling like yourself emotionally or mentally is worse than not feeling yourself physically (well to me anyway).

Having no control over what you feel makes you feel like you lost all control over everything in your life, you overreact to everything and you know it, and cant stop it . Haha sounds crazy right ? Well it feels crazy !

On the other hand, I must admit that my second pregnancy so far seems to be a little bit better, I feel like I can control my moods a little bit more, whether it is that my body has been through this before, or because I am more mature, I will never know. Maybe it is also because I know what is ahead and am trying to pace myself or prepare myself for what is ahead haha.

We as women go through such an intense time becoming mothers, we loose control over our entire bodies for well more than nine months (including breastfeeding), we go through an intense transformation where we forget completely about ourselves and focus all our attention and affections on this tiny little human that is apart of us. Its overwhelming, its terrifying and it is the most important thing I have ever done with my life, and will ever do.

What we go through is something that no one else will understand until they go through it themselves, and even then; everyone feels different and handles situations differently, learning to respect each other for our differences is what is important.

So lets build women up, because we are rockstars and endure so much for out families.

👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

How my baby has turned into a little girl overnight

My baby girl is exactly 13 months old today, well she is finally not a baby anymore. I am a toddler mom, I love this age, I think it is adorable how busy they are and how they explore and can find joy in the simplest things. Its inspiring really, to be content with something as trivial as a pot and lid. Wouldn’t life be so much easier? And less complicated? But alas, we all grow up And that pot and lid is replaced with houses and careers. Nothing wrong with that, each phase brings new challenges and new excitement. I just admire hat innocence and knowing there is someone there to love and protect you no matter what.

When I look back at how quickly she has gotten to this age , I want to freeze time, I want her to be small for longer, I want her to be a child as long as possible. When I see how other children are treated like little grown ups I feel sad, Life is harsh, its cruel and unpredictable. I want to keep my child’s innocence for as long as possible. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in raising a naive daughter thats not ready for the world, I just want to preserve that childlike happiness for as long as possible.

It happens so quick that we almost miss it, it is as if overnight she started walking, and babbling and pointing towards what she wanted, how on earth did this happen!? Life gets so busy that we forget to stop and take it all in, and when we blink they are all grown up.

On the other hand, I am so glad we are over that newborn phase, it is all just so so nerve wracking, they are so fragile and little and most of the time you are just not sure what to do with them (granted I am pregnant again, so within a few months we start all over again).

Now, she can go wherever she wants to go, and come when you call her. I just love it , even with all the tantrums that are starting and the fact that she is very sensitive and upsets easily haha, it is still an amazing time and we are all having so much fun.

So enjoy each phase as a family , even though each of them brings new challenges, they each also have so many special moments to offer.