The importance of setting boundaries for your toddler

Thinking about starting to discipline your toddler is overwhelming , especially if it is your first child, both of you are basically unsure of what is supposed to happen now haha.

Firstly you need to figure out what you are comfortable with, and what you believe is “discipline”, with that being said, don’t lend your ear easily to mom groups out there with millions of opinions, all which are , well , not yours. They don’t know your home, your family or your parenting style. Once you have decided how you are going to set boundaries for your toddler, you need to grow a thicker skin overnight lol. Setting boundaries is not only necessary for your household, but your toddler needs it, needs to learn what is acceptable and what not, when things get difficult (and they will) you need to remind yourself that you are trying to raise a well rounded human being who, with the right skills, and go out and conquer the world.

I strongly believe that toddler were put on this earth to test us, and push our limits as far as possible and then some more. The most challenging part is knowing when to take a minute and comfort them and when to draw the line. A lot of the time, the crying spell is due to them being upset, and not knowing how to process their emotions, our role as parents are to help them and teach them to calm themselves down without getting what they want. Distraction usually works the best, or to simply let them cry it out until they realize it is not happening lol, it all depends on your child’s threshold and how much they can take before you reach the point of no return (which usually involves hysterical crying).

As with every stage of parenting; it all just makes you stronger and teaches you something new. One way or another we will get them and ourselves through this lol . If one of you found a foolproof way of disciplining your toddler let me know and we can swap war stories!

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Giving your toddler what he/she needs

Learning when to say yes and when to say no to your toddler is a very thin line, one I tread very carefully everyday, my motivation is what makes it more difficult; am I saying yes to avoid a tantrum, or am I saying yes because the activity will allow her to learn, grow and have fun.

Some days I honestly wish I could send her to daycare just so that someone else can think of what to do to keep her busy and entertained, and then I look over at her and just realize I would give her the world if she asked.

I know all toddlers are busy and difficult, but they are still individuals, and as much as we would like to compare with friends and family members, but it is just not that simple. They all need different things , all the time, and the perks of having a toddler is that these needs may very well change every day.

Toddlerhood is like a rollercoaster ride that you cant stop, just when you think its over, you head for another 90 degree drop. Living on the edge I say haha, things can change at any given moment, I’ve learnt to be prepared for anything, nothing she does can surprise me anymore, its like I have a boy on my hands, she climbs on everything, she tests all boundaries and she has absolutely no fear ! While her mom on the other hand has ALL THE FEAR !

Being a mother to a newborn has taught me resilience, how to get by on very little sleep, and what true love is. Having a toddler on the other hand has pushed all my limits even further, and still are. I have never in my life been this busy, and I mean physically haha, she needs constant stimulation or else she gets frustrated, she gets bored with one thing so easily and all she wants to do is be outside , to play in water, sand, both or just plain climbing on everything she sees. Its nerve wrecking !!

Toddlerhood has taught me patience; she cant even speak yet and she is already giving me sass and talking back to me when I yell at her, on the one hand it is adorable and on the other hand I realize I am going to have my hands full for the next few years or so ! Lol

Some days are hard, some are just so worth it that I would do it all again in a heartbeat, and then some days I want to run away haha, raising a strong willed little person takes its toll, and learning to know what to say yes to is a fine line that I am not quite sure of just yet, haha, but once I figure it out I will let you guys know 😘

Let yourself get excited

Growing up sucks ! Haha , you have to learn to not only live with disappointment but also to accept it, learn to manage expectations and basically do a lot of things that you just don’t want to.

Now that I have painted that beautiful picture; I believe that we need to have balance in life, we need to be grown ups and be realistic most days, but just every now and then, I think it is okay to let go of all reason and be excited about the possibility of something.

In the beginning of the pregnancy, we are all paranoid, we know the statistics and story of women and miscarriages, the sad reality of it, so we don’t tell our family and friends until its “safe”, we don’t let ourselves get excited or let our minds imagine the future with this new little human.

Bring realistic can suck sometimes, and yes don’t blurt it out all over social media, but just for yourself and your partner, let yourself get a little excited, enjoy the moment you share and the possibility of this new little human, yes it might not all work out the way you want it to, but since we are being realistic, what in life has that type fo guarantee ? Nothing. Anything we do might not work out.

We need to find the balance between getting excited about new possibilities and managing expectations, which can be one of the hardest things in life. For me , I have learned to accept disappointment, so I get excited over new things and possibilities, and just know that if it does not work out I will deal with it.

Life is way too short to wait for disappointment around every corner, life is hard and disappointment is inevitable, but just every now and then, things work out ! The good guys win, and you get that happy ending !

Don’t ever let that “childlike” outlook on life fade completely.

How important it is to be in tune with your emotions

Like most moms (although there are a lucky few), pregnancy effects my mood 100% most of the day. With Paige , I seemed to have been very emotional and sensitive. This time around however, I am more impatient and quick to anger.

Lately my toddler has been insanely difficult, needy, clingy and also quick to anger, it took me a while, but I finally realized that its me! She feeds off of my emotions, and obviously picks up that my patience is less than before and that in turn, makes her feel unsure and confused as it all affects her environment (granted, she is growing up and some moods wings are inevitable).

Since then I have tried to get to know myself better, not to stop the emotions, but to recognize them. To realize that I am feeling overwhelmed because I am tired , or irritated because I am nauseous etc. knowing what I feel and why I feel it, makes it easier to take a deep breath and let it go. Instead of wallowing in it and letting it affect my relationships and the overall “vibe” in the house.

Easier said then done right ? We all know those pregnancy hormones take over and is impossible to control (true for the most part), but you can control how you react to them. Practice makes perfect , it may take a while, and it does not mean that it will work every time, after all, we are all only human. But I strongly believe that once you can control how you react to all your emotions and understand why you are feeling what you are feeling; you will be stronger for it, and at the same time. Set a good example for your children and other members of the family.

On the other hand, knowing why you are feeling what you are feeling, also makes it easier to get help or to fix it quicker. It sounds so straight forward right ? Wrong ! Many people don’t even realize when they are stressed. So knowing what you feel might even take some practice to begin with.

Either way , it is a skill worth mastering and will make life much easier for both you and your partner (and children) in the long run, and will most definitely help with your blood pressure and those sleepless nights.

Parenting – What is happening ?

I have been asking myself this question multiple times a day for the last year (my baby is a year haha), and I know I am not alone on this one. In one of my previous posts I shared with you guys about my baby girl’s burns, and we have finally come to to the end, at the doc today they shared the good news that her bandages can come off in three days (Thank You Jesus). Then we get hit with an ear infection. At that moment every mom just feels defeated, even just for a minute, here we are, we spent 4 weeks in bandages and screaming and a very unhappy little girl, and its all about to change, then the universe throws you a “nope just kidding” move and its all out the window.

Worse part is that I have always kind off thought that she has a good immune system, yet, despite all my efforts (and I mean it all) she has been on antibiotics 4 times in one year already (her first year of life might I add). Life with a baby is so unpredictable, the one day they eat so well and you feel like super mom and the next she spits out the exact same piece of corn she so loved yesterday.

There are ten thousand books out there on how to do all of this, and most of it wont apply to your baby. Thats the saddest part of all of this, so much sound advice out there, but your baby hates it all for some reason. I see it all as more of a “suggestion” than rules to live by. Each person thinks that they have it all figured out at some point, the reality is that it all changes so quickly. My baby still does not sleep through, and we have tried it ALL. She eats (well sometimes) she is happy during the day and has enough naps for the right amount of time , she plays enough. “Technically” there is nothing wrong, and no reason why she is not sleeping through the night yet.

Only to come to the conclusion that maybe she just does not like to sleep , ever though of that ?! Haha. Maybe she just has FOMO ? Who knows, all I know is that we have let it all go, we are just happy that she is healthy and smiling and enjoying life – which is all that matters !

At the end of the day, instead of pressuring both you and baby to fit into this “ideal world”, throw that book away, seriously ! Parenting is so hard already, you do not need some book (or person) telling you that everything you are doing is wrong . That book has no motherly instinct and definitely does not know you baby or your family.

I am not saying don’t ask for help, and there are legitimate experts out there that has the best advice, I am just saying that being a parent should be fun in-between all the stress and the hormones, just because you don’t live up to some book does not mean you are not doing it right.

You just be the best you ! The best mom you can be ! Because it is enough ❤️

Dealing with my baby’s accident

So today I want to tell you guys what happened to us yesterday morning. We were in the kitchen doing our thing making coffee and my daughter was standing against the cupboard next to our cleaning lady having so much fun chatting and playing. I looked over to see what she is doing and she is fine so I boil the kettle, within a second from looking away I hear our cleaning lady and my baby start screaming. She kept screaming at me to take Paige’s pants off , then it hit me – she got a hold of something in the cupboard that is now on her leg and burning her.

At this point I must add that I never look in that cupboard since I moved in with my husband , turns out there was a bottle of drain cleaner/acid in the cupboard and the lid was not on properly, she pushed it and it poured all over her .

I picked het up rushed her to the bathroom while yelling at our cleaner to call my husband (luckily we live on the same property as out business), I put her under cold water (which is impossible with a screaming 11 month old that wont hold still because she is just in unbearable pain). My husband came, saw what it was and we grabbed her and decided to go to the hospital.

The problem is that the hospital is 70 kms away from us ! It was the worst 20 minutes (we drove 180kms/h to town) of my life , she was hysterical and so was I , I couldn’t stop shaking and crying and praying. There are just no words to explain the experience to anyone, I even vowed to move because living in the middle of nowhere when there is an emergency is just too scary (not for me, but for my little one).

Luckily we have an amazing doctor in town and we phoned her on the way , she advised us to take her straight to her and she put all the necessary treatment and bandages on, and then we stayed in the hospital for one night to keep an eye on the swelling because we live so far away.

During the stay I was crying so much that the nurses gave me a calming tablet just so that I can function, after that I kept it together quite well and did what I had to do , just focusing on Paige and getting her better and just getting through it.

The moment we got home yesterday it started hitting me , I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep I was just on edge the whole time , then this morning when I saw my mother in-law I just completely broke down.

Every time I close my eyes I could hear her scream, I blamed myself so so much that I felt like it discredited every good thing I have ever done for my daughter, I felt like it was something that was so easily avoidable and I was literally right there ! A few steps away , and it still happened. The “what ifs” in this scenario are endless and blaming yourself is normal , I honestly think if you didn’t you are not a good mother haha. Getting over this guilt is a whole other ballgame, even though every person reminds you that it is not your fault and accidents happen, you are only human and dealing with this “trauma” takes time.

So here is a shoutout to all the moms that feel like they don’t even want to talk about these things because they feel shamed or guilty , I honestly know exactly how you feel . And as for the “time it takes to get over the guilt” ; I will keep you posted on that one lol.

Ps. I am posting a picture of my precious little girl just this once because she is just the strongest little girl ❤️

Picture of the wounds attached

Keep your babies safe ! Time is precious and accidents happen so quickly 🙏🏻

How my baby has taught me to live in the PRESENT

We all live for the future, we plan our days and we focus on where we are going instead of focusing on where we are. Its normal though, we all work towards something, and look forward to getaways and holidays, that promotion at work and when our baby will reach the next milestone, we are always looking for the NEXT in life.

When you think about it, this is not true for our babies or toddlers, they don’t quite yet understand the concept of time the way we do, they understand day and night but not the concept of “next year” or sayings such as “maybe another time”, they live in the now, and they want all your love and attention now and not “later”.

This is not always possible for us as adults as we have more than one thing going on in our lives and constantly struggle to balance it all, but my little girl has taught me that it is okay to take a minute here and there to just soak it all up and spend time with her, without looking at the time and thinking about all the things I need to do around the house, just undivided attention.

Psychology suggests that the formative years (the first few years of your babies life) are the most important, they lay the foundation for your child to build on as the years go by, no pressure right!? I don’t mean this to sound as if you have to be perfect otherwise your child will one day spend thousands in therapy explaining how his mother damaged him emotionally as a baby, I mean it as these are the years your baby will learn that he/she is loved, safe and wanted.

Think about it for a second, when you know that you are loved and safe you have the confidence to take on the world, knowing that whatever goes wrong there is someone out there that will help, that will have your back no matter what, sort of a “home” you can go to whenever you need it . That is what we need to instill in our children from a young age, to know that no matter what life throws at them that they can always come back home and you will be there.

So when life gets too busy, take a moment and just spend it with you baby, it will give you a whole new perspective on time, and teach you that every now and then, it is okay to stop the clock and take in all the wonder of motherhood.