Lets talk marriage

Okay so only moms will know what I am talking about; there is nothing that puts pressure on a marriage like having children !

Especially your first haha, looking back now it is crazy to think how much we fought, and by fought I mean taking everything out on each other, the lack of sleep, the stress from breastfeeding and just being a mom, the very big change in priorities and countless other issues that seemed to have overwhelmed us as new parents.

it changed literally every aspect of our marriage, you see each other differently, that man is the father of my child, and I am the mother of his child, it changes the way you love each other, you share this amazing bond now, and no matter what the future holds for the two of you, you are now always linked by your child, you will always be apart of each others lives.

And to be honest, having a baby takes the romance and mystery out of it all a tiny bit (okay a lot, between the post baby crying and huge pads), and some days you really need to dig deep to find time to be intimate or romantic because you are just so so tired.

But at the end of the day your relationship is stronger for it, we have only been married two years and our baby girl is now turning one, and it feels like we have known each other our whole lives because we have been through so much together in such a short time.

So yes , starting a family puts pressure on a marriage, but you know what they say “diamonds are formed under pressure”.

Don’t give up, you will get date nights again and romantic get aways before you know it!

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How having a child has made us both more mature

My husband said something to me today “I think I am way more mature since Paige was born” – This really made me think, and wow its so true its scary.

About three months ago we joined an online fitness group and did a 12 week transformation, it was so intense but the results are amazing, and he said that he would have given up a long time ago before he was born.

We always think that becoming a parent only changes the mother, but it doesn’t, it changed my husband too, he doesn’t just go out at night anymore because he wants to be home to spend time with his family, he is much more disciplined than before and this is because of our routine with Paige. It teaches you to do things even though you don’t feel like it, because well you just have to.

Having a baby kind of teaches you how to “adult” properly haha. I have never really felt grown up until I had a child, you sort of step into a whole new community that you never really understood before, and yet we still are who we were, in a sense, personalities intact, just with different priorities.

I honestly believe that we all go through stages in life , I saw my sister go through them, we all are those people that cant go out drinking or clubbing until early morning because we have babies that still don’t sleep through , fast forward a few years and those same people are the ones that don’t want to leave the party because their children are finally sleeping through and can go to the toilet by themselves )(I myself am looking forward to those days lol).

Thats why it is so important to surround yourself with people that get it, that understand these stages and respect them, that can go through them with you , to laugh with and vent with (and drink with).

Having children changes every aspect of tour life, and in every way possible, and soon you find yourself wondering how you were ever content before your house was in such a mess ❀️

Why it is So Easy to Forget About Your Marriage with a New Baby

Being a mother takes up so much of you , and I didn’t say time , because its more than that , it takes so much emotion and worrying and constant doubting yourself its emotionally draining and so rewarding at the same time ! Its the most beautiful thing in the world ! 🌸

What I tend to forget is that my husband needs to fit in there somewhere, I am so lucky to have a husband that adores me and that craves my attention and actually wants to spend time with me, yet it seems so difficult some days to make time for him as well.

At the end of the day I am so exhausted and drained , especially when she has been difficult, so the moment she goes to bed it feels like I can breathe and take some time for myself and gather my thoughts and recharge for the next day , but the reality is that this is the time I am supposed to spend on my marriage !

Starting a family is life changing , mostly in good ways and little feet bring so much joy into a home, but we tend to overlook how difficult it is for men , I see it in my husband , he does not get the attention he used to , it used to be the two of us against the world ! He loves our daughter dearly , but we always talk about how difficult it is for moms to adapt and forget about the dads.

This has been such a learning curve , for both of us , and I just realized that spending time on your marriage even if you feel dead on your feet is vital, in the end your children leave home and you only have each other , don’t drift apart, all relationships are hard but as long as you stick together through the tough times, the good times are even sweeter !

Angelique

Rocking The Mom Bod | Not

Lets get real for a second here , you get mothers that gain a minimal weight , and just look AMAZING a month after giving birth , and then you get mothers like ME …

I gained about 25-30 kg during my pregnancy …. its an insane amount of weight , looked like a baby elephant πŸ˜πŸ€£πŸ™ˆ

And yes I have lost weight since then (4 and a half months post partum now) but not nearly where I would like to be ! I haven’t even gotten on a scale yet because I know it will just upset me , ignorance is bliss I say !

I know everyone always says you have to be proud of your body , because it went through so much , but I just am not , I don’t like the sagging belly thing that I now seem to have at the age of 27, I am not proud of the fact that my back gets sore now when I bend down too much in the day and I am not proud of the fact that I try to dress in the bathroom so that my husband doesn’t see me naked in the light πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

It is insane what we all go through , and every mom experiences this is one way or another , your body is just so different after giving birth , but I must say , I am much stronger mentally and emotionally , I can multi task like a pro and handle so many more emotions all at once , and still somehow keep it together (or try to atleast) because I know there is this little princess that needs me to keep my shit together so to speak ! πŸ’ͺ🏻

I will just always try to better myself , and I refuse to believe that this is just the way my body is now , step by step , we will get there !

Pic of my beautiful little girl who is just so worth every roll of fat 🀣😘😍

Angelique

You Are Spoiling Your Baby

So I am sure I am not the only one who has a grandmother in law that yells “you are spoiling her” whenever she sees my husband pushing Paige in the pram to sleep …. 🀣

In all honesty though this makes me so mad , for so many reasons; first , at this stage I will do WHATEVER it takes to get her to sleep, whether that means I must stand on my head humming a lullaby , so be it !

Second of all , I don’t believe that I can shower my baby with too much of anything quite frankly , she is only starting to see all the colors now , I mean , she does not understand why I am leaving her when she cries or why I don’t want to console her . Just thinking about this breaks my heart .

I will most probably be the strict parent between me and my husband , but at the appropriate age where she can learn right from wrong and understand consequences.

I honestly think this “spoiling ” thing is from the older generation , they all say and do it ….

At the end of the day , I would just prefer people disagreeing with my parenting in private , to their friends and husbands behind my back, like normal people 🀣

Cause quite frankly , its none of your business !

Angelique

Sleeping Through |The Myth The Legend

What is sleeping through ?

Well I still don’t know haha

I hear of moms brag about it from like 2 or 3 months old , at this stage I am quite convinced that my baby girl will never sleep through πŸ™ˆπŸ‘€

She is 4 months old and going through sleep regression , so she is literally sleeping less every day ! Our days consist of 3-4 30 minute naps and our nights she wakes up about every 3 hours , shes just fussy at night time , no matter what I do .

I have accepted this as a norm at this point haha , and have reverted to a giggly state due to tiredness ….

Here’s hoping (and praying) that the night comes soon and I can also brag about it 🀣

πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€

Angelique

Happy Husband Happy Life

Being a new mom takes up A LOT of your time …

And not just that , you tend to voluntarily give it up to your little bundle.

This affected my marriage on every level ; little conversations about our days disappeared because its bath time, intimacy disappeared because , well, you are way to tired to even brush your hair , let alone feel sexy.

One word … HORMONES ! (The crazy mood swings)

The sleep deprivation is a whole other ball game .. you both seem to crack under the pressure you put on yourself and you end up fighting about him looking at you funny ! 🀣

The key is to breathe and let it pass , give each other space to adapt to this whole new world of being a parent because its HUGE the first time , for both of you , and in different ways.

Finding myself in this new role, I had to consciously make an effort to give some of my time to my marriage, to sit and listen and just chat again, this is why bedtime is so important in our house, and we stick by it because it means that we have time together.

Who said being a wife and a mother is easy ?

Angelique