How my marriage is stronger after having a baby

I don’t have to tell you guys that pregnancy and a baby puts a whole lot of pressure on a marriage. The hormones, the late nights, the lack of intimacy and the irritation don’t really make for a romantic 9 months.

Somehow, you both have this “idea” in hour head that once the baby is here, it would be better, intimacy will be easier because you will feel more comfortable and better about your body. (Ha right?!).

It actually gets harder once the baby is there, your husband tends to feel neglected because he now has to share you with this tiny little baby that always needs you, and when that baby finally goes to sleep, you are exhausted, you don’t feel like putting on sexy lingerie and being sexy.

It takes time, it takes time to get used to the little sleep, it takes time to find out who you are again once you become a mother, you change, your priorities change and your outlook on life changes, and so does the dynamic of your relationship with your partner.

The key is to be patient with one another, both of you needs to find how things are going to work, fathers also feel like they cant do what they used to do because they now have a family, just like moms feel like they have no time to themselves anymore. In my case, this “role confusion” caused a lot of friction in our marriage, we took the frustration out on one another and fought all the time; the slightest thing set us off and we ended up fighting about something that happened years ago.

The point is that any high pressure situation causes fights, and a having a child is like an endless amount of high pressure situations, you just need to find your way around it. We are much more patient with each other now, and we give each other space when we need it, and we don’t take stress out on each other anymore (well most of the time, we’re only human).

Our relationship is just stronger, having gone through the sleepless nights together (well mostly) and the insecurities as parents; have just brought us closer together, seeing your partner with your child does something to your heart, it warms it and melts it at the same time.

It honestly is an amazing journey, it breaks and rebuilds you as a person and as a couple.

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Why it is So Easy to Forget About Your Marriage with a New Baby

Being a mother takes up so much of you , and I didn’t say time , because its more than that , it takes so much emotion and worrying and constant doubting yourself its emotionally draining and so rewarding at the same time ! Its the most beautiful thing in the world ! 🌸

What I tend to forget is that my husband needs to fit in there somewhere, I am so lucky to have a husband that adores me and that craves my attention and actually wants to spend time with me, yet it seems so difficult some days to make time for him as well.

At the end of the day I am so exhausted and drained , especially when she has been difficult, so the moment she goes to bed it feels like I can breathe and take some time for myself and gather my thoughts and recharge for the next day , but the reality is that this is the time I am supposed to spend on my marriage !

Starting a family is life changing , mostly in good ways and little feet bring so much joy into a home, but we tend to overlook how difficult it is for men , I see it in my husband , he does not get the attention he used to , it used to be the two of us against the world ! He loves our daughter dearly , but we always talk about how difficult it is for moms to adapt and forget about the dads.

This has been such a learning curve , for both of us , and I just realized that spending time on your marriage even if you feel dead on your feet is vital, in the end your children leave home and you only have each other , don’t drift apart, all relationships are hard but as long as you stick together through the tough times, the good times are even sweeter !

Angelique

Rocking The Mom Bod | Not

Lets get real for a second here , you get mothers that gain a minimal weight , and just look AMAZING a month after giving birth , and then you get mothers like ME …

I gained about 25-30 kg during my pregnancy …. its an insane amount of weight , looked like a baby elephant πŸ˜πŸ€£πŸ™ˆ

And yes I have lost weight since then (4 and a half months post partum now) but not nearly where I would like to be ! I haven’t even gotten on a scale yet because I know it will just upset me , ignorance is bliss I say !

I know everyone always says you have to be proud of your body , because it went through so much , but I just am not , I don’t like the sagging belly thing that I now seem to have at the age of 27, I am not proud of the fact that my back gets sore now when I bend down too much in the day and I am not proud of the fact that I try to dress in the bathroom so that my husband doesn’t see me naked in the light πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

It is insane what we all go through , and every mom experiences this is one way or another , your body is just so different after giving birth , but I must say , I am much stronger mentally and emotionally , I can multi task like a pro and handle so many more emotions all at once , and still somehow keep it together (or try to atleast) because I know there is this little princess that needs me to keep my shit together so to speak ! πŸ’ͺ🏻

I will just always try to better myself , and I refuse to believe that this is just the way my body is now , step by step , we will get there !

Pic of my beautiful little girl who is just so worth every roll of fat 🀣😘😍

Angelique

You Are Spoiling Your Baby

So I am sure I am not the only one who has a grandmother in law that yells “you are spoiling her” whenever she sees my husband pushing Paige in the pram to sleep …. 🀣

In all honesty though this makes me so mad , for so many reasons; first , at this stage I will do WHATEVER it takes to get her to sleep, whether that means I must stand on my head humming a lullaby , so be it !

Second of all , I don’t believe that I can shower my baby with too much of anything quite frankly , she is only starting to see all the colors now , I mean , she does not understand why I am leaving her when she cries or why I don’t want to console her . Just thinking about this breaks my heart .

I will most probably be the strict parent between me and my husband , but at the appropriate age where she can learn right from wrong and understand consequences.

I honestly think this “spoiling ” thing is from the older generation , they all say and do it ….

At the end of the day , I would just prefer people disagreeing with my parenting in private , to their friends and husbands behind my back, like normal people 🀣

Cause quite frankly , its none of your business !

Angelique

Sleeping Through |The Myth The Legend

What is sleeping through ?

Well I still don’t know haha

I hear of moms brag about it from like 2 or 3 months old , at this stage I am quite convinced that my baby girl will never sleep through πŸ™ˆπŸ‘€

She is 4 months old and going through sleep regression , so she is literally sleeping less every day ! Our days consist of 3-4 30 minute naps and our nights she wakes up about every 3 hours , shes just fussy at night time , no matter what I do .

I have accepted this as a norm at this point haha , and have reverted to a giggly state due to tiredness ….

Here’s hoping (and praying) that the night comes soon and I can also brag about it 🀣

πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€

Angelique

Happy Husband Happy Life

Being a new mom takes up A LOT of your time …

And not just that , you tend to voluntarily give it up to your little bundle.

This affected my marriage on every level ; little conversations about our days disappeared because its bath time, intimacy disappeared because , well, you are way to tired to even brush your hair , let alone feel sexy.

One word … HORMONES ! (The crazy mood swings)

The sleep deprivation is a whole other ball game .. you both seem to crack under the pressure you put on yourself and you end up fighting about him looking at you funny ! 🀣

The key is to breathe and let it pass , give each other space to adapt to this whole new world of being a parent because its HUGE the first time , for both of you , and in different ways.

Finding myself in this new role, I had to consciously make an effort to give some of my time to my marriage, to sit and listen and just chat again, this is why bedtime is so important in our house, and we stick by it because it means that we have time together.

Who said being a wife and a mother is easy ?

Angelique