How having a child has made us both more mature

My husband said something to me today “I think I am way more mature since Paige was born” – This really made me think, and wow its so true its scary.

About three months ago we joined an online fitness group and did a 12 week transformation, it was so intense but the results are amazing, and he said that he would have given up a long time ago before he was born.

We always think that becoming a parent only changes the mother, but it doesn’t, it changed my husband too, he doesn’t just go out at night anymore because he wants to be home to spend time with his family, he is much more disciplined than before and this is because of our routine with Paige. It teaches you to do things even though you don’t feel like it, because well you just have to.

Having a baby kind of teaches you how to “adult” properly haha. I have never really felt grown up until I had a child, you sort of step into a whole new community that you never really understood before, and yet we still are who we were, in a sense, personalities intact, just with different priorities.

I honestly believe that we all go through stages in life , I saw my sister go through them, we all are those people that cant go out drinking or clubbing until early morning because we have babies that still don’t sleep through , fast forward a few years and those same people are the ones that don’t want to leave the party because their children are finally sleeping through and can go to the toilet by themselves )(I myself am looking forward to those days lol).

Thats why it is so important to surround yourself with people that get it, that understand these stages and respect them, that can go through them with you , to laugh with and vent with (and drink with).

Having children changes every aspect of tour life, and in every way possible, and soon you find yourself wondering how you were ever content before your house was in such a mess ❤️

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Your baby deserves a happy mom

Babies feed off their moms, whatever mood you are in, your baby feels it too and it changes their mood as well.

Have you ever noticed the days where you are just happy and relaxed how “easy” your baby is? – That is because they can feel our emotions, luckily, as they get older, you can hide your own personal issues and struggles easier from them with a smile, but when they are little, you are the only source for information they have; I was very upset a while ago, just had a week from hell, and I busted out into tears as I was changing my baby’s nappy, and the next thing, she also started crying, out of the blue, nothing was wrong with her, she just woke up from a nap, it was simply because her mom was upset, and that upset her.

I know as mothers we tend to put ourselves second for the sake of our children , and rightly so; but being unhappy in the long run, only affects them negatively, they grow up with a mom that rarely smiles, that is maybe too busy because she is trying to avoid thinking about the things that are wrong in her life (I speak from experience), and one that finds no joy in the little things.

What we don’t realize is that this sets an example for our children, it sets the “vibe” that they grow up in, and it stays with them, think back; you remember how your household was when you grew up, you can tell people whether it was a happy one, or one with many negative aspects.

So make the hard decisions, make a point of being happier and more positive, not only for your baby, but for you as well, live a happier life, cut out what makes you unhappy and keep what does, life is simple once we decide it is, the mind is a powerful thing, learn to use it to your advantage, after all, your baby does not need a perfect mom, just a happy one.

The little things you do for your children matter!

That little kiss on the forehead before bed, those little cuddles on the couch; it might seem like little things, but they make all the difference to your baby.

We hear it a lot – You can make mistakes with them now because thank goodness they don’t remember their infant days, although this might be true regarding mistakes you have made, they most certainly do remember how they were treated by their parents and people around them.

Love & Attention

They may not be able to recall a specific incident, but their first days on earth lay the foundation for the future, how they will react to certain situations, how they will treat other people, their relationships, confidence etc. When you bring a new baby home, you don’t focus on these things, all you focus on is getting through the next day, and the next milestone, but we forget the in-between is just as important for the big picture.

Taking a few moments each day just to appreciate your baby and to spend time with him/her makes the biggest difference; giving little neck kisses or little tickles and hearing your baby giggle; is the most rewarding thing about being a mother, it brings you so much joy!

Childhood

I for one did not have the best childhood, I know my parents did their best with what life threw at them, and I am grateful, but being a mother now I look at things a little differently, I realize little issues I have and why (true I have a psychology background so I can pinpoint these easier than most, but every person can look back on their childhood and realize where what went wrong).

I am adamant that we go through all these experiences to make it right, or at the very least gain some perspective as to what our parents went through, and have more sympathy towards the issues they had to face when we were children, at the time, we did not realize how big these situations were, but now as parents, we can relate to them more, and sympathize more. I might get some blow back on this one, but to me; being a parent entails protecting your child (for as long as possible) from the ugliness of the world, the sad the bad and the traumatic (as best we can).

Feelings Come Second

When you are pregnant, you are excited, you think of the little toes and fingers and you can’t wait to meet your new little human, and all will be right in the world. The fact of the matter is, although this is very true, you will need to make countless sacrifices for your child (or ought to make for them), whatever you are going through in life, these emotions and feelings need to be buried deep inside so that your children are not affected by this; this is extremely hard in some cases, locking your feelings away for later takes so much strength and I don’t think we get enough credit for doing this, people just expect it of a mothers, it’s a given, therefore you are not allowed to say that it is hard to put yourself second sometimes.

Well it is, but at the same time, it is a privilege to be able to protect your child from all the hardships in life while they are little, making sacrifices for your child is what makes them into amazing adults, it ensure that your child stays a child while they should and do not get burdened with “adult problems” before they have to, life is short, their time will come way too soon to be an adult and they will have plenty of their own dilemmas to deal with. Don’t make this start earlier than it needs to for them.

Life Changes

Making a decision to move somewhere for a better school district or a bigger house, a safer neighborhood, we all do it for our children, it is a huge change, change is scary and uncertain, yet we do it for our children because you want them to have the best possible chance to do anything they want with their lives.

These decisions are not made lightly and cause so many disagreements between husband and wife, the reality of it is that we make daily decisions to ensure that our children are happy and safe and some of them are despite of ourselves and our goals in life but will make all the difference to your child in the future.

The Future

Although your children will not always know about the sacrifices you made as parents for them, they will most certainly reap the rewards, time spent with them, and as a family will forever be apart of who they are, and how they will treat their own families, sacrifices made for a better future for them will show in how they take on life, and what they choose to do with challenges and how they handle change. Setting an example for your children in all these areas may seem like little things, but they are the things that will make them into amazing adults you can be proud of.

Well done for putting your child first, for creating a better future for them and giving them your best selves.

It is hard someday, but you are rocking it!

Here’s to raising amazing little humans.

Freedom | Alone At Long Last

So yesterday I left my baby with my mother in law and my husband , and went to town to do my nails and get a few things for the house all by myself for the very first time.

All I can say is WOW ! Although it was quite sad and made me nervous to leave her , it did me the world of good to be by-myself a little bit .

I realized that it really is a necessity to take a break , we live in a rural area and babysitting (unless it is in laws) is not an option , although I am very blessed to be able to look after my baby myself , it does get to me to not do anything else and to not see other adults .

I had a nice few hours in town , and when I came back I could handle her teething and everything else , and it made me so jealous of other moms that get to work , even half day , I do go into the lodge everyday , but I take her with , and only spend about an hour there before she lets me know its time to leave 🙈

Thats why I think these little breaks are so important – absence makes the heart grow fonder , just a little reboot so to speak , just so you can appreciate everything again !

Heres to many more little breaks 🎉

Angelique

Today is a Good Day to Have a Good Day

So about 3 weeks ago , we started sleep regression …… if you read my posts there were A LOT about it hahaha

My husband and I even started to question literally everything we have been doing , all our methods , we even got into a few fights over it because it felt like he was telling me that everything I do with her was wrong , needless to say , it was a tough time for us !

Well ….. it passed !!!!

She has honestly been the best baby in the world the past 5 days ! It has been amazing , she sleeps , she plays , she eats , she smiles , she laughs , she even rolled over today for the first time !

What a relief ! I can honestly say , that every mom going through this must just hang in there , don’t go and change your routine to adapt to it , because it does blow over I promise.

Yay for Paige ! 👏🏻🤣

Angelique

Happy Home

Have you ever heard people say “your baby is happy because she can feel that you as a parent are relaxed”

Well first off , I don’t feel relaxed EVER ! haha , as a first time mom , this whole thing is nerve wracking 🤣

But it is such a huge compliment to hear that , and I do believe it to some extend , babies feed off of their parents , they watch us and they learn from us , being a good example is the very definition of good parenting !

When I was breastfeeding , I struggled so much , with everything , I had baby blues , she would not latch , I second guessing myself around every corner , and she was sooo difficult, looking back now , I think she could sense how stressed and unsure I was about everything !

Isn’t it amazing how with time , it really does get easier ? You hear people say it , but you don’t believe it because its chaos the first few weeks and even months ! But it really does.

Time is an amazing thing ! ❤️

Angelique

Slippers | Mom Brain

Everyone always talks about pregnancy brain , but mom brain is definitely also a thing !

Motherly instinct for me runs so so deep , it even kind off overtakes all the other parts of my brain too , this type of love is just not normal compared to anything else , it’s overwhelming to say the least .

Take me for example , its winter here in South Africa , and I have literally been wearing my slippers for 4 months because my feet are still fat (yes that is a thing) and I just haven’t though of buying myself some shoes that actually fit , I have been to a mall in this time , but somehow I just end up buying thousands of onesies that Paige will grow out of in a weeks time 🤣

Not to mention the worrying , this is INTENSE ! I worry constantly ; is she warm enough , is she too warm , does she have enough blankets , is the monitor working , is the thermometer working, is she sick , what is that spot, that mark wasn’t there yesterday, why isn’t her hair growing, has she eaten enough, is she eating too much, maybe she is too chubby, is she sleeping enough, why has she been sleeping for so long ?

And the list just goes on and on and on …..

I sometimes find myself wondering ; how the hell am I going to survive the next 18 years ? And the next 18 after that ? I don’t think the worrying will ever end , it is a type of love that moves in into every part of your brain , your heart , your soul , your everything !

💜💜

Angelique