The “mom itch”

Ever notice how once you start doing something with your baby , and you have no free hands, you start itching somewhere ? The mom itch!

As if motherhood is not hard enough already right? Now you find yourself trying to hold a bottle with your chin while trying to scratch your nose with your way too short arm! In reality it is called “phantom itching” but I truly think its the mom itch, it always happens when I am busy with my baby girl, and ALWAYS when I cant scratch !

The moment I stop with what I am doing, the itch goes away! It is so frustrating, and no way to stop it from happening again. This is one of those phenomenas that makes no sense, just like motherly instinct and how you can function on 2 hours of sleep. Yet, all of the above is very real.

This made me think of all the things we as moms go through that no one sees; the emotional turmoil when your baby is crying, hurting or just unhappy, the hurt when your partner goes straight to bed instead of spending some time alone with you, the tiredness that comes with it all. It can be so difficult some days that it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, yet, the next day; we do it all over again.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to keep quiet because I feel like my husband and friends don’t really understand how I feel or what I am going through, and sometimes I just do not know how to put my feelings into words, keeping my feelings to myself just less effort in the long run.

Its like an itch you cant scratch, knowing that if you talk about it; it will only turn into a fight and you will still feel alone at the end of it. Being a mother comes with so many internal struggles that we often don’t talk about to others.

Sometimes , just sometimes, it is okay to put yourself first, to take a moment and give your baby to someone for a few hours and just let it all out, have a good cry, go for a walk , get some retail therapy, read a few pages of that book you haven’t touched, just take a moment.

I am horrible at this, when I leave my baby with someone, I always feel like I have to hurry back, like that person is doing me a favor and therefore I must not push it because maybe they wont do it again then.

In reality though, most people that offer to babysit; understand that moms need a break, and wont even mind if you take that extra half an hour to go for a pedicure instead of rushing back home. For me; this is an ongoing process, I am learning everyday that it is okay to take a minute, some days I feel more anxious than others , but I am getting there.

Take a break, it is so rewarding and just so necessary for a healthier, happier you!

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The Bond Between Mother and Baby After C-Section

Everywhere these days you see people favouring natural birth, the benefits for both you and baby are endless; recovery, your babies’ strength and the thing we hear mostly is that the bond between you and your child is so much stronger because you both went through this process together.

The problem with this is that life does not always work out the way you expect it to, life happens!

And it is statements like above that make women feel like less of a mother because they had to have an emergency c-section or opted to have one instead of natural birth, women are bullied and shamed for making this choice instead of going the natural way (it is the same with the whole debate about breastfeeding vs formula feeding).

The fact of the matter is that having a c section does not lessen the special bond between you and your baby, I had a c-section, and from the moment she was born there was nothing but love, I still had my skin to skin, I still breastfed for about 8 weeks, she still cried for her mommy and she was still comforted by me. In no way did I ever feel as if my bond between my child and I was not as strong as I hoped it would be, in fact; it surpassed everything I thought it would be, the love I have for her is indescribable and in no way did the way she was brought into this world, affect that love.

I admire women who gave natural birth, to me, having had a c-section; I can’t imagine how incredible that whole process must be, and how amazing and proud you must feel afterwards for having done it and bringing a healthy baby into the world.

But for me, in that moment they cut me open, nothing else in the universe mattered but my baby being healthy and okay, how it happened did not matter to me, how far along I was at the time didn’t matter, how many toes she had did not matter, if I was going to breastfeed did not matter, how much she weighed did not matter, all that mattered was hearing that  first little scream and knowing she is okay, in that moment; I couldn’t care less about myself, when I heard that first cry, the biggest sense of relief washed over me – my baby was okay and now I can breathe.

I have read so many stories about women who are distraught and so disappointed because they ended up having an emergency c-section, and they really wanted to give natural birth, and this breaks my heart, it happens so often where society places so much pressure on moms to do things a certain way, what they think is best for you and your baby, and then when a woman can’t do it that way, due to whatever reason, we immediately feel like we failed as mothers.

I am here to tell you that it is okay, you did your best, and your baby is here, that is all that matters, what they eat or how they came into this world will not matter to them when they grow up, what type of parent you are will! Whether you were there for their first heartbreak, and how you treat them when they make a mistake, whether you spent time with them growing up; these are the things that will matter to them as adults and what they will pass on one day to their own families and relationships.

We must stop focusing so much on these small things and focus on raising humble and kind little humans that we can be proud of, and be parents they can be proud of, in the end these are the only things your children will remember about you when you are gone, not whether you gave natural birth, or had a c-section or breastfed or formula fed.

Be proud to be a mom, embrace it, and be the best you can be every day, and I promise you, it will be enough.

Angelique

Does Being a Mom Ever Get Easier

Being a first time mom is intense , and I don’t have to tell anyone that ! We all know it !

Now that my baby girl is 5 and a half months old I feel like things are getting easier every day , I think it is mostly because I feel more confident as a mother and I know my baby girl and what she needs when .

But she is also more content and “easier” these days , she is sleeping so much better now after the sleep consultant , she started solids and we are both loving it , she is more active and is enjoying her toys and she is so easy to entertain !

She is definitely teething , and difficult at times but still I feel like I can handle it so much better than that first week at home !

I know that the future will hold so many more unexpected twists and turns and you cannot prepare for all of it , but I feel more comfortable in my own skin and within the relationship between me and my daughter . I already feel like we have such a strong bond and I am enjoying every minute with her.

I see moms with grownup children , and then the answer is clear , you will always worry about your children , being a mom is not a switch that you can turn off once your children go out into the world on their own , you always worry about whether they are okay safe and happy !

And I can already feel all of that just looking at my baby smoo ❤️

Being a mother is the best thing in the world !

Angelique

Starting Solids |Butternut For The Win

So I started my baby girl on solids yesterday !

It feels like I have been waiting for this FOREVER ! I was just so excited to start that I couldn’t wait a minute longer ! She is now 5 and a half months old , and showing interest in food and almost sitting by herself.

I just decided to ignore all the controversy on when to start and just following my “mom gut instinct” . 🤪

This is so exciting for me as a new mom , trying new things and learning with my baby about what works best for both me and her !

She was not too impressed yesterday , but today she actually swallowed some of her food , so I see that as a win 🤣

It is all just so amazing to see her grow up and go through all these stages in her life , I am so blessed to be her mother and cant wait to teach her so many things ! She is just such a joy !

Am I the only mom that gets excited about these little moments and documents everything she does ?!

Treasure every moment with your little ones , because as we all know , time gets away from us and we get caught up in the day to day things and forget to take a moment and just appreciate the people that we love .

Angelique

The Great Unknown ….

The past few days I found myself at a loss for words , writers block if you will .

Life just does that sometimes doesn’t it !?

It throws you curveballs that you never saw coming , and it just takes its toll , the past few days I was just tired , no specific reason , just overall exhausted with my life , and I am sure that happens to almost everyone !

We are planning on moving (as some of you know) and our business is in the market , but we don’t know where we will move to and what jobs we will get and maybe even a change of career paths , we don’t know when this will be , its nerve wrecking to say the least , I love change as much as the next person , but its the not knowing that makes me stress so much !

If you know where you are headed , you can prepare yourself mentally and start picturing this new life , because you have all these images to fill in the blanks , with us , its just black (with a very big light at the end of the tunnel off course) and that is so scary , for anyone !

Especially with a family , when I was single , this would be sooo exciting for me , 20 year old me would LOVE this uncertainty, the 27 year old mom me , not so much ! 🤪

If you have a family , you have this need to protect and provide , whether you are the father , the mother , or both to your baby , uncertainty about the future and having an infant just does not go well together , at all !

Motherhood has sure made me into a “worry wart” , but in a good way , I am more responsible , less impulsive , more patient and most of all , I feel like I have calmed down , I am not as rushed and frantic as I used to be ….

All phases in life offers so many lessons to be learnt, if we are open to them ; so I am excited to see what this new journey teaches me about life !

Stay tuned …..

Angelique

Stress || The Silent Killer

I cant speak for everyone , but wow do I stress since Paige was born.

And I mean about EVERYTHING!

It is such a roller coaster some days , why is she not sleeping , she feels warm to me , I have to make food , I have a headache , I am tired , I need to get to work , we are in the process of selling our business , we will have to move soon.

And this is just my life , I know a lot of women have so much going on and so many balls in the air ; that some days you just don’t know how you will get it all done , and at the end of the day , you did , you somehow managed to get most of your things done and you don’t even know how !

To me , thats mom strength! Throughout all the stressing and rushing around , you persevere , and get through it , because at the end of the day you have this little bundle depending on you to do just that – Keep on Keeping on !

How beautiful is that ?

Life just has new meaning ❤️

Angelique

Sleeping Consultant

We decided to get a sleeping consultant about a week ago (I did not even know this was a thing) and we have been doing this thing for 5 days now .

Let me just start by saying that it has nothing to do with letting your baby cry it out or any of those things , they analyze your baby’s world and how you do things , and tell you what they think you should do differently in order for everyone to have more sleep.

The past 4 days have been the hardest , I have cried so many times , I lost count , the reason for this being so difficult is that we changed our baby’s routine , which every mother knows is chaos !!

Seeing your baby unhappy is just so so sad , but we made it !!!!! She immediately started sleeping better at night , and today , on day 5 , everything changed for her naps ! I cant believe it is the same baby , and I am just so proud of all of us.

Proud of Paige for pushing through this and learning that sleeping is actually not that bad , and for me for not throwing in the towel (as I wanted to so many times) and for my husband for putting up with all my crying and mood swings this past week !

We are not out of the woods just yet , but our lives have improved so so much , and I honestly recommend this to anyone who is having trouble with their baby’s sleeping habits , its hard , but boy is it worth it !!

Here’s to having our lives back , and having such a happier baby now that she is getting the sleep that she needs to grow and be healthy 👏🏻🎊

For those of you who are interested in contacting a sleeping consultant , visit

https://www.goodnightbaby.co.za/

They work all over the world and you can skype with your consultant !

Angelique