The Bond Between Mother and Baby After C-Section

Everywhere these days you see people favouring natural birth, the benefits for both you and baby are endless; recovery, your babies’ strength and the thing we hear mostly is that the bond between you and your child is so much stronger because you both went through this process together.

The problem with this is that life does not always work out the way you expect it to, life happens!

And it is statements like above that make women feel like less of a mother because they had to have an emergency c-section or opted to have one instead of natural birth, women are bullied and shamed for making this choice instead of going the natural way (it is the same with the whole debate about breastfeeding vs formula feeding).

The fact of the matter is that having a c section does not lessen the special bond between you and your baby, I had a c-section, and from the moment she was born there was nothing but love, I still had my skin to skin, I still breastfed for about 8 weeks, she still cried for her mommy and she was still comforted by me. In no way did I ever feel as if my bond between my child and I was not as strong as I hoped it would be, in fact; it surpassed everything I thought it would be, the love I have for her is indescribable and in no way did the way she was brought into this world, affect that love.

I admire women who gave natural birth, to me, having had a c-section; I can’t imagine how incredible that whole process must be, and how amazing and proud you must feel afterwards for having done it and bringing a healthy baby into the world.

But for me, in that moment they cut me open, nothing else in the universe mattered but my baby being healthy and okay, how it happened did not matter to me, how far along I was at the time didn’t matter, how many toes she had did not matter, if I was going to breastfeed did not matter, how much she weighed did not matter, all that mattered was hearing that  first little scream and knowing she is okay, in that moment; I couldn’t care less about myself, when I heard that first cry, the biggest sense of relief washed over me – my baby was okay and now I can breathe.

I have read so many stories about women who are distraught and so disappointed because they ended up having an emergency c-section, and they really wanted to give natural birth, and this breaks my heart, it happens so often where society places so much pressure on moms to do things a certain way, what they think is best for you and your baby, and then when a woman can’t do it that way, due to whatever reason, we immediately feel like we failed as mothers.

I am here to tell you that it is okay, you did your best, and your baby is here, that is all that matters, what they eat or how they came into this world will not matter to them when they grow up, what type of parent you are will! Whether you were there for their first heartbreak, and how you treat them when they make a mistake, whether you spent time with them growing up; these are the things that will matter to them as adults and what they will pass on one day to their own families and relationships.

We must stop focusing so much on these small things and focus on raising humble and kind little humans that we can be proud of, and be parents they can be proud of, in the end these are the only things your children will remember about you when you are gone, not whether you gave natural birth, or had a c-section or breastfed or formula fed.

Be proud to be a mom, embrace it, and be the best you can be every day, and I promise you, it will be enough.

Angelique

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Does Being a Mom Ever Get Easier

Being a first time mom is intense , and I don’t have to tell anyone that ! We all know it !

Now that my baby girl is 5 and a half months old I feel like things are getting easier every day , I think it is mostly because I feel more confident as a mother and I know my baby girl and what she needs when .

But she is also more content and “easier” these days , she is sleeping so much better now after the sleep consultant , she started solids and we are both loving it , she is more active and is enjoying her toys and she is so easy to entertain !

She is definitely teething , and difficult at times but still I feel like I can handle it so much better than that first week at home !

I know that the future will hold so many more unexpected twists and turns and you cannot prepare for all of it , but I feel more comfortable in my own skin and within the relationship between me and my daughter . I already feel like we have such a strong bond and I am enjoying every minute with her.

I see moms with grownup children , and then the answer is clear , you will always worry about your children , being a mom is not a switch that you can turn off once your children go out into the world on their own , you always worry about whether they are okay safe and happy !

And I can already feel all of that just looking at my baby smoo ❤️

Being a mother is the best thing in the world !

Angelique

The Great Unknown ….

The past few days I found myself at a loss for words , writers block if you will .

Life just does that sometimes doesn’t it !?

It throws you curveballs that you never saw coming , and it just takes its toll , the past few days I was just tired , no specific reason , just overall exhausted with my life , and I am sure that happens to almost everyone !

We are planning on moving (as some of you know) and our business is in the market , but we don’t know where we will move to and what jobs we will get and maybe even a change of career paths , we don’t know when this will be , its nerve wrecking to say the least , I love change as much as the next person , but its the not knowing that makes me stress so much !

If you know where you are headed , you can prepare yourself mentally and start picturing this new life , because you have all these images to fill in the blanks , with us , its just black (with a very big light at the end of the tunnel off course) and that is so scary , for anyone !

Especially with a family , when I was single , this would be sooo exciting for me , 20 year old me would LOVE this uncertainty, the 27 year old mom me , not so much ! 🤪

If you have a family , you have this need to protect and provide , whether you are the father , the mother , or both to your baby , uncertainty about the future and having an infant just does not go well together , at all !

Motherhood has sure made me into a “worry wart” , but in a good way , I am more responsible , less impulsive , more patient and most of all , I feel like I have calmed down , I am not as rushed and frantic as I used to be ….

All phases in life offers so many lessons to be learnt, if we are open to them ; so I am excited to see what this new journey teaches me about life !

Stay tuned …..

Angelique

Sleeping Consultant

We decided to get a sleeping consultant about a week ago (I did not even know this was a thing) and we have been doing this thing for 5 days now .

Let me just start by saying that it has nothing to do with letting your baby cry it out or any of those things , they analyze your baby’s world and how you do things , and tell you what they think you should do differently in order for everyone to have more sleep.

The past 4 days have been the hardest , I have cried so many times , I lost count , the reason for this being so difficult is that we changed our baby’s routine , which every mother knows is chaos !!

Seeing your baby unhappy is just so so sad , but we made it !!!!! She immediately started sleeping better at night , and today , on day 5 , everything changed for her naps ! I cant believe it is the same baby , and I am just so proud of all of us.

Proud of Paige for pushing through this and learning that sleeping is actually not that bad , and for me for not throwing in the towel (as I wanted to so many times) and for my husband for putting up with all my crying and mood swings this past week !

We are not out of the woods just yet , but our lives have improved so so much , and I honestly recommend this to anyone who is having trouble with their baby’s sleeping habits , its hard , but boy is it worth it !!

Here’s to having our lives back , and having such a happier baby now that she is getting the sleep that she needs to grow and be healthy 👏🏻🎊

For those of you who are interested in contacting a sleeping consultant , visit

https://www.goodnightbaby.co.za/

They work all over the world and you can skype with your consultant !

Angelique

Set A Guard Over Your Mouth …

This to me is the most important thing in life ! And in any type of relationship , whether it be you and your husband in a fight or you and the stranger you met in the supermarket ! Actually , especially strangers , or people that you are not so close to !

The reason I say this is because people that don’t know you well don’t know how you mean the things you say , you mights say to the woman in the supermarket “wow your baby is so chunky” – meaning that you think it is the cutest thing under the sun , meanwhile that woman has struggled with weight all her life and is already scared that she is passing it on to her baby girl …..

That is just one example , I myself have carried things said to me by people that don’t even play a big part in my life , and because of that , I never say anything that can be taken out of context to anyone I cant explain myself to afterward !

And I think we should all do this , especially with new mothers , the hormones are flying high, the stress , the lack of sleep , it just is such an emotional time , and we should all remember that , and apply it in all areas of our lives !

Be Kind

Angelique

No Woman Has Ever Calmed Down By Being Told To Calm Down

I mean , where have you ever !? 🤣

Please tell me that I am not the only one having these fights ? Those ones that start out disguised as your typical marriage fight and then the words “just calm down” or “its not that bad just calm down” are uttered and suddenly its a whole new ballgame 🙈

But all jokes aside , marriage is HARD people , haha , my husband and I live on the same property as our business , which means we see each other all the time , and its great to have him help with Paige during the day sometimes !

BUT , you can only imagine how much time this gives us to get in each others business and how much time this gives us to pick fights with each other 🤣

And then , when he does go away for a week to go hunting or something , it sucks to be here all alone and not have family or friends nearby , you just cant win ! Haha

When we do move , it will be a hell of an adjustment to not see each other during the day , but I also believe it will do us some good , in so many ways , we each will have our own careers and get to share that at the end of the day , we get to miss each other a little bit you know !?

ps. I am sitting here in Paige’s room writing as she is staring at me from her cot …. sleeping still not going according to plan if anyone was wondering 🤣😫🤫

Angeliqur

Freedom | Alone At Long Last

So yesterday I left my baby with my mother in law and my husband , and went to town to do my nails and get a few things for the house all by myself for the very first time.

All I can say is WOW ! Although it was quite sad and made me nervous to leave her , it did me the world of good to be by-myself a little bit .

I realized that it really is a necessity to take a break , we live in a rural area and babysitting (unless it is in laws) is not an option , although I am very blessed to be able to look after my baby myself , it does get to me to not do anything else and to not see other adults .

I had a nice few hours in town , and when I came back I could handle her teething and everything else , and it made me so jealous of other moms that get to work , even half day , I do go into the lodge everyday , but I take her with , and only spend about an hour there before she lets me know its time to leave 🙈

Thats why I think these little breaks are so important – absence makes the heart grow fonder , just a little reboot so to speak , just so you can appreciate everything again !

Heres to many more little breaks 🎉

Angelique