The importance of your child’s happiness

Seeing my child smile is the only thing in the world that can turn the worst day right around ! She is always on my mind, even when I am thinking about something else, she is still somehow in the back of my mind, always there.

Granted, I am a stay at home mom, but I honestly believe that most if not all moms feel like this, being a mother becomes you ! In the greatest sense, it becomes the most important role in your life, overnight everything changes, for the better.

Lets face it, most days (especially if you have a toddler) you don’t necessarily reap the rewards of all your hard work, with the tantrums and the teething it can become quite easy to start blaming yourself for your child’s current mood.

I for one feel like I am not doing a good job if my baby does not have a constant smile on her face, which is utterly ridiculous. Being a toddler must be so hard, you have to master this great big world in front of you, and all you want to do is explore and figure things out for yourself, but there is this big grown up around every corner trying to stop you haha, must be frustrating right? Although watching every move they make is necessary, keep in mind that they are well, “easily upset” at this age haha, and their constant bursting into tears, is not a reflection of your parenting in any way.

But every now and then, you get those rare, but worth the wait days, and your child smiles, eats and sleeps and the day is so rewarding, you even get a few giggles out of it. These are the days when you feel like you are winning at life, your child is happy ! And all the rest just fades away and you would do it all over again (careful of these moments, because it was in one of these that we decided to get pregnant again) haha.

They just are worth all the sacrifices aren’t they!?

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Overcoming Your Mom Insecurities

Where do we even start on this one?

All moms, whether you are a new mom or not, have insecurities, we all feel, at one point or another that we are lacking in some departments. My insecurities as a mother stretch far and wide , so much so that I sometimes feel like a basket case.

The Struggle

For me personally, I am petrified of not having a good relationship with my daughter when she is older, which is a lot of pressure to put on a 6 month old (ha ha), I am constantly doubting myself, whether I am making the right choices for her, or buying the best product for her, I place so much pressure on myself to do things right, that I forget to have patience with myself and give myself the room to still make mistakes, even though I am trying to be a good mother, I am still human at the end of the day.

But saying it does not make it so (as many of you know), I am so sensitive of the subject, that if someone just jokingly points something out, I get offense immediately, instead of just taking it in stride and brushing it off. I will think about it for weeks on end after it has been said, and it would even keep me up at night. It sounds ridiculous, but this used to be my life, and it was so difficult to focus on other things during the day, there just is not enough space in a brain to harbor all thoughts and incidents throughout life, at the end of the day, we need to throw out the bad and keep the good, not just for ourselves, but also for the relationships in our lives.

Thoughts are very powerful, and it can take the joy out of everything, once you harbor a negative thought for too long, it grows, and because we keep it inside, it seems to become such a big issue the longer we keep it inside for no real reason, being caught in this loop is no joke, and can be difficult to get out of.

The Change of Perspective

At the end of the day, what does it matter what people think of the way you raise your child? Life is funny like that; no matter what you do, or where you do it, someone will always have an opinion about it, someone will always disagree with what you are doing, even if you are 100% sure of your decision. Accepting this is liberating, in the way that you no longer mind when someone gives an opinion, you nod and move on with your life without giving it another thought.

This mind set however does not happen overnight, it takes practice. Every time something or someone upsets you by forcing an opinion down your throat, instead of thinking on it for weeks on end, you make a conscious decision to put it aside and not think about it again, every time it pops up (because lets face it, you are only human) you do the same, this is like teaching your brain to think differently. This type of “re-wiring” takes time and effort, but trust me, the results are worth it.

This is not a fool proof plan, it just makes you stress less over things that should not be taking up time in your thoughts. Raise your baby the way you want to, and what you feel is best for your child and your family. Do not let things like mom shaming and old traditional opinions cloud the joy of being a first time mom.

You Got This !

 

Developing Your “Mom Self”

There is some fundamental shift once you become a mother, all the “me” issues you used to have disappear into thin air, and you see the world differently than before, this effects every part of you being, your thought process, your relationships, your patience, your priorities, your day to day activities, the way you think, basically everything about you changes.

Don’t get me wrong, my personality is still in there, and I am still me, I am just different, I know how weird that sounds, but for me; I am stronger emotionally; when you become a mom, you have to put your emotions aside sometimes, you cannot have a breakdown right now because you have to feed or bath your baby, so you put it away for later, when later comes you are over it ha ha.

There is just this whole new side of you, and that’s what I call – The Mom Self.

This takes some time to master, as with any new role in your life, practice makes perfect, and this one particularly is so overwhelming and takes some time to get used to.

The day my baby was born, everything was chaotic, so many people, doctors, nurses, and the moment is kind of just too big to fully grasp and take it all in, you and your partner don’t really seem to get the time to chat or to get used to the idea because then grandparents and aunts and uncles pitch up to see the new bundle of joy.

I had a C-Section, so the whole process was just such a shock to my system, I read so many things on the procedure and talked to so many moms that went through it, and yet, it was nothing like I thought it would be, it was so scary being awake (that was the worst part for me) and the adrenaline and the excitement is overwhelming (I use this word a lot, because well, there is no other word for it).

That night I was alone at last in the hospital, they took my baby and looked after her during the night for me to rest after the surgery, the next morning at 5 am, they wheeled her in and left her, I remember thinking oh my word, you can’t just leave her here alone with me, what must I do with her?

The feeling I had was pure panic!

What was I supposed to do with her? I read so many books on what to do, and talked to so many new moms, and yet, in that moment, it all disappeared, and the reality was staring me right in the eyes! I was a mom, and I had a baby, a tiny one at that, and was even unsure about how to change her diaper in that moment.

Now, 6 months later, and I am so comfortable with her, don’t get me wrong, I still has days where I am not sure what is going on and second guess myself, but these days are less than they were. The only way to get to this point is time; give yourself time, don’t be so hard on yourself in the beginning or well, ever for that matter, being a mom is a very big change for a woman, and like all changes in life, you need time and patience to master this role and to fully be comfortable in it.

So, take a deep breath and give yourself a break! You will get there!

Angelique

 

Fur Babies 🐾 | My Family

So , there are so many different opinions and thoughts on whether to allow your pets around your baby …..

For those of you who read my blog , you know by now that my motto is “Do You” I honestly believe that whatever works for you ; go for it ! Unapologetically!

We have four dogs (yes four haha, and 2 birds) and our house is always open as we live on the same property as our business , so keeping the dogs outside is close to impossible 🙈

Only our golden retriever sleeps inside , so she is basically the only one I really allow close to Paige , as I know she is soft natured and cleaner than the others 🤣

She has not really showed much interest in Paige so far , but has given her one lick in passing lately , which I think is the cutest thing I have ever seen 😍

Look, I don’t allow her to lick her all over or lay on top of her or something like that , but I don’t keep her out of the baby room and I don’t shout at her the moment she comes close to Paige , to me , Roxy is a huge part of my family , and I know she was my baby before Paige was born and I know she must feel that things are different now , and I try my best to still give her attention .

It honestly breaks my heart when I hear about people starting to treat their pets differently because of a new baby or neglect them , it sure isn’t easy being a mom and still having to fulfill the other roles in your life , so cheers to the moms that try to have it all ! 🍻

Angelique