Remembering that you were a person before you had kids

So as you all know I am pregnant with my second baby, and I cant even explain all the ways that I underestimated being in my first trimester with a toddler.

My husband is gone this week and the amount of endurance it takes to not throw up while you are dressing your baby for bed – is next level and I kind of feel like a rockstar after that session haha ! Not feeling well while having to still be the best mother you can be, takes effort , and let me tell you something; if you are one of those moms that are going through a tough time and still manage to play with your kids and put a smile on their face , you are one AMAZING mom , and don’t you forget that !

BUT ! Being a good mother sometimes means that you need to know when to put yourself first, never when your child needs you , and not saying that you take your interests above that of your child’s , but in the sense that you know when you need a break, and know that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Recharging for half a day or even a few days with friends does not make you a bad parent, sometimes a few moments for yourself is what resets the clock on your parenting, and gives you renewed, more positive energy for your toddler or your newborn.

Then you get me; I am a stay at home mom and I go into town to do my nails and the usual errands, I don’t have to rush home because my husband and mother in law are looking after Paige. But somehow in town, I feel guilty for not being there, I feel like I need to hurry up because she is my responsibility and not theirs and they have things to do. After which I usually rush everything and head home, only to find that everyone is fine and having fun haha. No one died , no one got hurt.

Although these are all normal “mom” feelings, sometimes it is okay to let go, to let yourself take a few deep breaths and let yourself enjoy something that does not involve being a mother or a wife, just a person, an individual, with interests, dreams and a person who can have grown up intellectual conversations haha.

Practice makes perfect, and that is what it will take to learn to have a balance with this whole motherhood thing, letting yourself have some time without feeling (too) guilty, and to still feel like you are not failing as a mother in doing so.

Being a mother is hard enough as it is, we do not need to drive ourselves crazy (er) by forgetting that we also matter. Take that break ! You deserve it ❤️

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Freedom | Alone At Long Last

So yesterday I left my baby with my mother in law and my husband , and went to town to do my nails and get a few things for the house all by myself for the very first time.

All I can say is WOW ! Although it was quite sad and made me nervous to leave her , it did me the world of good to be by-myself a little bit .

I realized that it really is a necessity to take a break , we live in a rural area and babysitting (unless it is in laws) is not an option , although I am very blessed to be able to look after my baby myself , it does get to me to not do anything else and to not see other adults .

I had a nice few hours in town , and when I came back I could handle her teething and everything else , and it made me so jealous of other moms that get to work , even half day , I do go into the lodge everyday , but I take her with , and only spend about an hour there before she lets me know its time to leave 🙈

Thats why I think these little breaks are so important – absence makes the heart grow fonder , just a little reboot so to speak , just so you can appreciate everything again !

Heres to many more little breaks 🎉

Angelique

Happy Home

Have you ever heard people say “your baby is happy because she can feel that you as a parent are relaxed”

Well first off , I don’t feel relaxed EVER ! haha , as a first time mom , this whole thing is nerve wracking 🤣

But it is such a huge compliment to hear that , and I do believe it to some extend , babies feed off of their parents , they watch us and they learn from us , being a good example is the very definition of good parenting !

When I was breastfeeding , I struggled so much , with everything , I had baby blues , she would not latch , I second guessing myself around every corner , and she was sooo difficult, looking back now , I think she could sense how stressed and unsure I was about everything !

Isn’t it amazing how with time , it really does get easier ? You hear people say it , but you don’t believe it because its chaos the first few weeks and even months ! But it really does.

Time is an amazing thing ! ❤️

Angelique

Alone Time | Some Self Reflection

I am someone who loves my alone time , I love to think , to reflect , to pray on things.

I lived alone for 7 years before I moved in with my husband , and even though I thought then that I miss my alone time , nothing prepared me for when I had my baby girl .

Now however, I am pretty sure she KNOWS when I sit down with a cup of tea , she just does ! Haha between her , work and my husband , there is just NO time for me … we don’t live near a town , so day care or nanny is out of the question until she goes to school or we move !

Although I love her to bits , I wish I could see other adults , or go for a coffee ! (For those of you who don’t know my situation , please read the first blog – babysmoo)

I don’t know how I will cope having two … 🙈😂

Angelique

Saturday Night fever

Did you ever think that you would enjoy just doing nothing so much ?

Since Paige was born , all I do is look forward to her bedtime haha ! I adore her and enjoy our time together so much , but I find myself missing the simple things; the listening to loud music , the watching a movie uninterrupted, going out for a movie or dinner, the things I took for granted before having a baby 🤰🏼

My husband and I do our best to spend time together when she goes to bed and to do something that we otherwise would not during the day. Although sometimes you are just too tired 💤

Before you have kids , people always tell you to enjoy each other first , take a few years and get to know each other because after you have children , you come second and you wont have time for any of that for quite a few years, boy were they right !

We were only married 4 months when we got pregnant , and although this experience so early on has made our bond stronger , it has surely been hard on our marriage as well , we are still getting to know each other , and what better way to do that than to put your marriage through intense pressure early on 🙈🤣

Everyone’s story is unique , but I love ours the most ! ❤️

Angelique