Sick babies make for paranoid moms

Having a sick baby is no joke, they cant tell you whats wrong, and you end up second guessing every symptom because maybe you are overreacting. Its emotionally draining, you end up actually feeling relieved when the doctor says that something is wrong because now you don’t feel like that paranoid mom you swore you would never be.

I never thought that my whole world would stop when someone is sick haha, don’t get me wrong, when my husband is sick I also worry and take care of him (as he does for me) but I don’t stay awake at night worrying if he is too cold or has a fever or is uncomfortable (the list goes on and on).

When my baby is sick it is the exact opposite, I find myself worrying constantly; should I take her to the doctor, should I go check is she is okay. Its like it takes over everything for a few days and all else seems to fade into the background, and once its over, it is as if I was also sick.

Being a mother brings out a side to me that I never knew existed, in fact, it sort of creates a new side to a person, that will only be revealed once you become a mother.

Its scary actually, to love this much ! There are no words to describe it, when they hurt, we hurt! I am lying in bed wide awake wondering if she is okay, all while knowing that I will feel like this for the rest of my life. Its wonderful and oh so daunting at the same time.

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Being a Woman is Intense ! 🙈🤪

I mean , where do I even start on this one ?!

We still go trough hormone changes , periods , headaches , flu , tiredness, irritations and all the normal turmoils of everyday life , all while still raising children .

I just don’t think that men understand this , my husband is so helpful with her and tries his very best to be supportive , but I still get the occasional “you make it worse than it actually is” and the “you are overreacting” .

Now look , I am not the most patient person , and my anger goes from 1 – 100 I’m seconds since becoming a mom ,

It is like a switch went off when Paige was born , and I feel this fire inside of me to fight for my family and loved ones and to not be a pushover anymore !

I honestly believe that being a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me ❤️

Angelique

He who must not be named!?

I want to talk about baby blues.

People have ten thousand things to say to you and warn you about when you are pregnant , but yet , no one once mentioned baby blues , or the surge of crazy hormones that you will experience after birth !?

i had a c section ( will share my experience in another post) and on day 3 at home i was sitting with Paige and my mother in law walked in , and i just started crying uncontrollably 🙈 for no reason !

This continued for about 2 months , i felt anxious, moody , emotional and just not happy ! I was confused , because this was supposed to be the happiest time in my life , i mean we couldn’t wait to meet her , and here she is , and yet i could get myself to just relax and enjoy the moment !

I have my honours degree in psychology , so i knew something was up , i contacted my doctor and got anti anxiety meds and things got a whole lot better from there .

The issue i have with this is that in my circle people tend to be very against these types of feelings and meds , they don’t acknowledge these feelings as something real or something to take seriously.

My husband was very against me getting these pills , and thought that it would just pass even though i told him im not coping .

His reaction towards needing help and wanting help , made me feel ashamed for having this problem , but is tuck by it and got help and did muuuch better ! My husband also came around eventually and saw that the pills are working .

Im sharing this experience with you guys , because i feel that in our society baby blues are not mentioned , and not seen as real .

So for those moms out there feeling like they are not coping and need some help , go get it !! Don’t let anyone tell you that what you are feeling is not real ❤️

Hang in there

Angelique

When Even Your Insides Are Tired || Mom Tired

Have you ever felt like your tired like in your bones ? I don’t know how else to explain it , who am I kidding , off course you have ! This happens to all of us , but I honestly believe “mom tired” is a thing !

This is me today , after this week with Paige , I just feel drained , emotionally, physically , mentally , and wait , is there another one ? I forget 🤫😳

Today we had friends over , and as much as I would love to kick back and have a few drinks , have some snacks , chat to my friends or just relax a little bit , but I cant , I have a 5 month old that is still busy sleep training !

But then I put my baby girl in my lap and just hold her , and everything just disappears, every single day I look at her and think “I cant love you anymore than I do right now” , and every day that love grows ! 🧡

So yes, today I am extremely exhausted to the point where I want to ugly cry , but I wouldn’t have it any other way, looking after my baby girl is the biggest blessing in the world !

Angelique

Where Has The Time Gone || A Feeling Of Nostalgia

I look at my baby girl, who turns 5 months soon , and wonder how did we get here so fast ? Just the other day we were so excited to meet her , and here we are …

Those first few months seem like a blur when I look back , I don’t know how I used to get up every two hours to pump and feed her , while still recovering from a c-section !?

Those first few months just ARE overwhelming, looking back now , I wasn’t even sure of what I was doing most of the time , I just dreaded the crying , so I tried everything to avoid it .

I wish I took more time to enjoy her and stress less , but I guess seeing it that way doesn’t make sense , I mean , you just are so so emotional and stressed with your first one and so unsure of yourself , but you have to go through this phase to grow and learn .

Thats why I think your second child is so much easier – you just feel more confident in your abilities , and knowing what to do , and knowing the signs of something wrong with your baby !

On the other hand , I have also heard that people say you forget so much between the first and the second one !?

Is this true ?

Share your opinion with me !

Angelique

Days where everything just seems to go wrong

I should rewrite this headline to “weeks where everything seems to go wrong”!

My week in a nutshell

I know I am not alone on this, this week has been the most intense in so many ways and its only Wednesday; we started of with having to make a unplanned trip to Johannesburg (which is 5 hours way by the way) in order to do bio-metrics for our trip to Australia soon, get there, only to hear that they only have an appointment for my husband and not our baby girl, long story short, we sorted it out after much effort!

We then had to stay over because the trip is just to far for our baby, and did another 500 km’s the next morning, got home to find out our water cooler had leaked in Paige’s room and the carpet was damaged, settled and then we heard that my horse’s foal had sadly passed away – this the day before her new owner was supposed to come and fetch the two of them.

All this in a matter of three very long days, and a baby in-between who is out of routine and teething!

One thing I have noticed is that when I am upset, she is upset, how crazy is that? Today I busted into tears while changing her nappy, and she immediately started crying too, I felt so bad that I stopped and so did she, we forget sometimes that our babies’ sense what we are feeling, or if we are stressed or having a bad day, they feed of us when they are this small.

I am exhausted to say the least, you know when one night’s good sleep does not even make you feel better? That is where I am at that point, so I thought I would write about it as this always help to work through issues and just to feel better, you know, put it all out there. Life just sometimes throws these weeks at us just to make sure we still got it – ha ha

Bouncing Back

Apparently, I do, it is amazing how resilient we all are, somehow the sun always manages to come up the next morning and you look at life with a little more positivism.

I always say that it is fine to have a breakdown or to feel down, own it, you are human, and you can’t always be strong, keeping emotions bottled up is so unhealthy for the mind and the soul. The most important thing is to always get up afterwards, brush yourself off and stare life dead in the eye, and smile!

I am so lucky to be surrounded by so many family and friends that are always willing to lend a hand (or an ear) in difficult situations.

My baby girl must know that her mama needs a break today because she is sleeping so well, and giving her mom a well-deserved break to write 😊

Angelique

 

What NOT To Do With Your Baby

So, although I cannot give you advice on exactly what to do, because I am still figuring things out myself, I can however tell you what NOT to do!

Your Home Life

Nothing in this world can prepare you for being a parent, I don’t care what anyone says, helping a sibling or a family member with their baby will maybe make you used to the idea of a baby and give you some helpful tips even, but in no way will it give you a taste of what it feels like when that little bundle is yours.

No book in the world will explain to you how YOUR baby is feeling and why, yes, it has been put together by experts, but it is the general rule, and not always specific to your baby, I have read so many things and then I think “what? Why is my baby not doing this?” – This is the biggest downfall for new parents, books tell you when what milestone should be reached and how much your baby should be eating, and most of the times this is right, but sometimes it just is not, and this immediately sends us into a state of panic.
Listening to how other people raise their children is also a “no no” , how people raise their children reflects their personalities, their home life and their values, therefore, doing what you see from other people will most probably not work for you, because, well, you are different, you are an individual and your personality and values might not be the same.

And Finally, the most important one; do not, I repeat, do not compare yourself to other moms, this will most certainly drive you insane, and it most certainly has for me, the problem when looking at other moms is you see what they call the “highlight real”, you come over for dinner, and the whole family is on their best behavior, because let’s face it, that’s what we all do. What you don’t see, is that they also fight over who must do the dishes, the mom also locks herself in a closet to cry (a bit extreme but it happens) and the dad is not always the perfect husband you see at dinner.

Some people are just more open about their struggles, to me, these are the best kind of people, they make you feel like you are not alone, like you are not as crazy as you though, and not always overreacting as per your husband’s opinion.
Find these people and stick to them like glue, they are the mom friends that you want by your side on days that you feel you cannot cope, or you just had enough.

Google is the Enemy

Wow, where do we even start on this one?

If you haven’t yet googled “How to get my baby to sleep” stop reading because this post is not for you; the results on this is so confusing and contradicting that it would leave even the most confident mom second guessing herself.

Sleep deprivation is torture, it affects every aspect of your life, it’s just intense!
Google is helpful in the sense that you can find information online at any time of the day or night, there are thousands of “how to” videos, and I myself have watched a few videos on swaddling and latching that were quite helpful.

But overall, you see information and tips that just do not work for your baby, and then you are left overwhelmed once again, with no way out.

Motherly instinct is the best go to you can get, become confident mom! And trust your gut, 9 out of 10 times it is right, the other time your baby was most likely just not feeling well or just having an off day – which happens, if you think about it, your baby is also an individual, and just like we have off days, they do too, they just can tell you how they are feeling.

Most days you end up just winging it!

Fed is Best

This is such a sensitive topic, and I am almost scared to write about it, but here goes!
I personally tried to breastfeed, and did for 7 weeks, unfortunately due to circumstances, my supply dried up after trying everything under the sun, there could be a million reasons for why what when and where, but that’s just what happened, and I ended up giving my little girl formula.

This was so intense for me, as it felt like I failed her and that I am not doing what is best for my baby, but at the end of the day, do what is best for you, there are so many moms out there that will tell you that you are a bad mother for choosing to formula feed.
Don’t you dare listen to them, we place enough pressure on ourselves to be perfect mothers, we do not need added stress to any situation, it is your life, and you do what is best and what suits you guys better. You are still a good mother!

We need to stop mom shaming each other, what I don’t understand is that these women are also moms, they were even once first-time moms, and know how hard is to adjust and to get into a routine that suits your family and your lifestyle, adding to this is not only mean, but unnecessary.

To the moms out there that are struggling with all these things, hang in there, keep doing what you are doing, and it will all get easier soon.

This too shall pass.

Angelique