How to get your baby through those “fussy stages”

Have you noticed that all these baby apps always shows you at what age the leaps and growth spurts take place, are always basically on top of each other? They should just say birth – 18 years old with their little thundercloud next to it !

Then

I am the first to admit that we got a sleeping consultant when our baby girl was about 5 months old, its was chaos ! We used to get up at night about 11 times, and had to function on very little sleep and a very cranky baby. The main issue for us was her pacifier, as she only used it when she needed to sleep, and constantly lost it during the night, hence the getting up all night. The results were amazing and it changed everything for us.

Now

Then our baby turned 8 months, and she was standing in her cot throughout the night, refusing to lay back down, and screamed until we picked her up. I honestly thought here we go again.

Luckily I was wrong, we just did nothing haha, and before we knew it, about 2 weeks later, she decided that she might just lay down for a little bit, and that was it. Yes those two weeks were intense, and yes she still has moments where she refuses to sleep (just to keep us on our toes) but I can honestly say that it was just a phase and they all are.

Cue Overreacting

I am a first time mom, so for me, every change or phase or leap made me go into stress mode, and I used to google and ask for advice all over. Now, almost a year into it, I have learned to well, let my baby go through what she needs to go through.

Do yourself a favor, before you go and change your routine and blame yourself for the sleepless nights, just asl around. Our baby is drinking two bottles a night still, and I thought because the “books” say she should be sleeping through, that I am doing something wrong. I asked other moms, and guess what? I am not the only one who’s baby still doesn’t sleep through the night. What a relief, now I don’t feel like I need to revisit everything I have done so far, AND I don’t feel like I have failed somehow (because we love to go there don’t we).

I don’t know about you guys, but I seriously need to learn how to take a breath, I can get so worked up over the littlest things with my baby, that it has somehow turned me into a different person. Luckily my husband reminds me that I need to relax, not that it always works, the verdict is still out on how to take a breather, but the moment I figure it out I will let you guys know 😝

Breathe

The only way to get through it all is to not stress over every single moment, your baby can sense it and we all know how bad stress is for your health. Join a playgroup or get more mom friends, find a way that gets you through these tough phases, and you will be able to handle each one like a pro.

Good luck Moms

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Motherhood is far from glam

I stay at home with my baby girl, and yesterday it was midday and I glanced at myself in the mirror for the first time that day… and cringed! – What!? Is that really what I look like !

I had a C-Section, and needless to say; my tummy looks and feels horrible. It does not even feel like it is attached to my body some days. In the beginning, after the surgery, I could handle it because it would get better with time, now, 7 months later, it has gotten better but I HATE my body !

It has gotten so bad that it is actually affecting my marriage, and just everything really, clothes shopping is something that I used to LOVE, now I dread it! I even get dressed in the bathroom so that my husband does not see me naked in the light. I know this might seem extreme to some, and it definitely does to my husband (who bless him, still thinks I am gorgeous), but I just don’t feel good about myself.

Isn’t it weird how we can be our own worst critics? No one is harder on someone than you with yourself, on the one hand its good because you should push yourself to be better, but sometimes (like in my case) it becomes a sort of obsession, obsession to look like that woman on TV that your husband stared at, obsession to think that people who walk pass you think “wow she is fat”. When in reality , they don’t even notice you, they are busy battling their own insecurities.

At the end of the day, you always have a decision, I can either hate my body and wallow in self pity, or I can try to do something about it, exercise a little eat a bit healthier, even if the results are not miraculous or amazing, just trying would also make me feel a bit better.

So here is to being happier, and healthier.

Being a Woman is Intense ! 🙈🤪

I mean , where do I even start on this one ?!

We still go trough hormone changes , periods , headaches , flu , tiredness, irritations and all the normal turmoils of everyday life , all while still raising children .

I just don’t think that men understand this , my husband is so helpful with her and tries his very best to be supportive , but I still get the occasional “you make it worse than it actually is” and the “you are overreacting” .

Now look , I am not the most patient person , and my anger goes from 1 – 100 I’m seconds since becoming a mom ,

It is like a switch went off when Paige was born , and I feel this fire inside of me to fight for my family and loved ones and to not be a pushover anymore !

I honestly believe that being a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me ❤️

Angelique

When Even Your Insides Are Tired || Mom Tired

Have you ever felt like your tired like in your bones ? I don’t know how else to explain it , who am I kidding , off course you have ! This happens to all of us , but I honestly believe “mom tired” is a thing !

This is me today , after this week with Paige , I just feel drained , emotionally, physically , mentally , and wait , is there another one ? I forget 🤫😳

Today we had friends over , and as much as I would love to kick back and have a few drinks , have some snacks , chat to my friends or just relax a little bit , but I cant , I have a 5 month old that is still busy sleep training !

But then I put my baby girl in my lap and just hold her , and everything just disappears, every single day I look at her and think “I cant love you anymore than I do right now” , and every day that love grows ! 🧡

So yes, today I am extremely exhausted to the point where I want to ugly cry , but I wouldn’t have it any other way, looking after my baby girl is the biggest blessing in the world !

Angelique

Days where everything just seems to go wrong

I should rewrite this headline to “weeks where everything seems to go wrong”!

My week in a nutshell

I know I am not alone on this, this week has been the most intense in so many ways and its only Wednesday; we started of with having to make a unplanned trip to Johannesburg (which is 5 hours way by the way) in order to do bio-metrics for our trip to Australia soon, get there, only to hear that they only have an appointment for my husband and not our baby girl, long story short, we sorted it out after much effort!

We then had to stay over because the trip is just to far for our baby, and did another 500 km’s the next morning, got home to find out our water cooler had leaked in Paige’s room and the carpet was damaged, settled and then we heard that my horse’s foal had sadly passed away – this the day before her new owner was supposed to come and fetch the two of them.

All this in a matter of three very long days, and a baby in-between who is out of routine and teething!

One thing I have noticed is that when I am upset, she is upset, how crazy is that? Today I busted into tears while changing her nappy, and she immediately started crying too, I felt so bad that I stopped and so did she, we forget sometimes that our babies’ sense what we are feeling, or if we are stressed or having a bad day, they feed of us when they are this small.

I am exhausted to say the least, you know when one night’s good sleep does not even make you feel better? That is where I am at that point, so I thought I would write about it as this always help to work through issues and just to feel better, you know, put it all out there. Life just sometimes throws these weeks at us just to make sure we still got it – ha ha

Bouncing Back

Apparently, I do, it is amazing how resilient we all are, somehow the sun always manages to come up the next morning and you look at life with a little more positivism.

I always say that it is fine to have a breakdown or to feel down, own it, you are human, and you can’t always be strong, keeping emotions bottled up is so unhealthy for the mind and the soul. The most important thing is to always get up afterwards, brush yourself off and stare life dead in the eye, and smile!

I am so lucky to be surrounded by so many family and friends that are always willing to lend a hand (or an ear) in difficult situations.

My baby girl must know that her mama needs a break today because she is sleeping so well, and giving her mom a well-deserved break to write 😊

Angelique

 

Why having a baby is such hard work

I know we hear it a lot from moms out there – “babies are hard work” !

Well they were right ! 🙈 Being a first time mom you don’t really realize how much of your time a child would take , and its not just the attention (which to me is the best part) but your other chores.

My whole day revolves around getting my baby to nap and eat at the right time ! Routine in this matter sucks ha ha it leaves no room for spontaneity or unplanned events .

In between these naps (which are sometimes only half an hour) I need to get to work (luckily we live on the same property as our lodge) and wash and make myself presentable and cook breakfast and dinner and make food for my baby and wash and sterilize bottles and and and and … there just never seem to be enough hours in the day to get to Everything!

That whole thing about “sleep when the baby sleeps” only works when you have a newborn, this type of sympathy disappears very quickly as your baby gets older and you become less emotional (admit it, we were all a wreck those first few days at home).

At the end of the day , you just got to keep on keeping on, there is no down time, nor do you get to quit because you do not feel well or you are having a bad day, motherhood builds character like no other situation in life, you learn selflessness in its purest form, and a type of love that no words can describe.

What an honor to be called mama !

Angelique

Why it is So Easy to Forget About Your Marriage with a New Baby

Being a mother takes up so much of you , and I didn’t say time , because its more than that , it takes so much emotion and worrying and constant doubting yourself its emotionally draining and so rewarding at the same time ! Its the most beautiful thing in the world ! 🌸

What I tend to forget is that my husband needs to fit in there somewhere, I am so lucky to have a husband that adores me and that craves my attention and actually wants to spend time with me, yet it seems so difficult some days to make time for him as well.

At the end of the day I am so exhausted and drained , especially when she has been difficult, so the moment she goes to bed it feels like I can breathe and take some time for myself and gather my thoughts and recharge for the next day , but the reality is that this is the time I am supposed to spend on my marriage !

Starting a family is life changing , mostly in good ways and little feet bring so much joy into a home, but we tend to overlook how difficult it is for men , I see it in my husband , he does not get the attention he used to , it used to be the two of us against the world ! He loves our daughter dearly , but we always talk about how difficult it is for moms to adapt and forget about the dads.

This has been such a learning curve , for both of us , and I just realized that spending time on your marriage even if you feel dead on your feet is vital, in the end your children leave home and you only have each other , don’t drift apart, all relationships are hard but as long as you stick together through the tough times, the good times are even sweeter !

Angelique