This post is very personal to me,and something about myself that I never knew.
The Control Freak
I somehow, NEED control , in every situation in my life, in any way that I can. Without realizing it, it has taken all the fun out of everything, I somehow think that if I can anticipate everything and be prepared for it, that I would be able to handle it better, even as I am typing this, I realize how silly that sounds, but still very real.
I feel that I cant go on “unplanned” excursions because my baby is in a routine (and so am I for that matter) and it was not on my to do list, so I cant go. Before Paige was born I was quite spontaneous, loved the unexpected and thrived under pressure. Motherhood has somehow changed all of this, I have turned into someone who cant go out at night because I don’t want to risk a screaming session in a restaurant – for the fear of someone thinking I am not a good mother.
Now, with my psychology background I can tell you that everythingI just wrote raises sooo many red flags.
- Firstly, isolating yourself from social events and friends is so unhealthy, and it sets an example for your children as they grow up. My baby girl is so happy when we are out and about, she takes so much in and just enjoys looking around and staring and smiling at the people.
- Secondly; setting this “paranoid” vibe for my baby just creates so many issues later on in life for her, I basically will be teaching her to be careful, with everything, to not be bold, brave and adventurous – like I used to be.
Learning to “Breathe”
At the end of the day, you simply can not control every situation life throws at you, sometimes you just have to let go a little bit and trust that everything will work out the way it was supposed to.
Babies are much more resilient than we give them credit for; the moment I stopped and started living a little again, she adapted so nicely, no screaming, and even though she struggles a little bit if she is out of routine, she so enjoys doing something different every now and then. ( I still believe in routine don’t get me wrong, and my baby girl is a bit older now).
We need to realize that our babies will cry, they will eventually throw that supermarket tantrum we have been fearing all our lives, they will get sick, people will judge your parenting, your baby will be unhappy sometimes and that does not mean that you failed, it simply means that life does not always go our way, and thats okay. (Yes that rhymed)
The moment we learn to breathe and take things in stride, life automatically becomes easier, we look at life differently and see opportunities we never would have. It just opens up a whole new world, one I am excited to explore !
Just keep at it, changing the way you live life takes time, constant reminding and a whole lot of patience with yourself.