Everywhere these days you see people favouring natural birth, the benefits for both you and baby are endless; recovery, your babies’ strength and the thing we hear mostly is that the bond between you and your child is so much stronger because you both went through this process together.

The problem with this is that life does not always work out the way you expect it to, life happens!

And it is statements like above that make women feel like less of a mother because they had to have an emergency c-section or opted to have one instead of natural birth, women are bullied and shamed for making this choice instead of going the natural way (it is the same with the whole debate about breastfeeding vs formula feeding).

The fact of the matter is that having a c section does not lessen the special bond between you and your baby, I had a c-section, and from the moment she was born there was nothing but love, I still had my skin to skin, I still breastfed for about 8 weeks, she still cried for her mommy and she was still comforted by me. In no way did I ever feel as if my bond between my child and I was not as strong as I hoped it would be, in fact; it surpassed everything I thought it would be, the love I have for her is indescribable and in no way did the way she was brought into this world, affect that love.

I admire women who gave natural birth, to me, having had a c-section; I can’t imagine how incredible that whole process must be, and how amazing and proud you must feel afterwards for having done it and bringing a healthy baby into the world.

But for me, in that moment they cut me open, nothing else in the universe mattered but my baby being healthy and okay, how it happened did not matter to me, how far along I was at the time didn’t matter, how many toes she had did not matter, if I was going to breastfeed did not matter, how much she weighed did not matter, all that mattered was hearing that  first little scream and knowing she is okay, in that moment; I couldn’t care less about myself, when I heard that first cry, the biggest sense of relief washed over me – my baby was okay and now I can breathe.

I have read so many stories about women who are distraught and so disappointed because they ended up having an emergency c-section, and they really wanted to give natural birth, and this breaks my heart, it happens so often where society places so much pressure on moms to do things a certain way, what they think is best for you and your baby, and then when a woman can’t do it that way, due to whatever reason, we immediately feel like we failed as mothers.

I am here to tell you that it is okay, you did your best, and your baby is here, that is all that matters, what they eat or how they came into this world will not matter to them when they grow up, what type of parent you are will! Whether you were there for their first heartbreak, and how you treat them when they make a mistake, whether you spent time with them growing up; these are the things that will matter to them as adults and what they will pass on one day to their own families and relationships.

We must stop focusing so much on these small things and focus on raising humble and kind little humans that we can be proud of, and be parents they can be proud of, in the end these are the only things your children will remember about you when you are gone, not whether you gave natural birth, or had a c-section or breastfed or formula fed.

Be proud to be a mom, embrace it, and be the best you can be every day, and I promise you, it will be enough.

Angelique

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26 thoughts on “The Bond Between Mother and Baby After C-Section

  1. I had both of my girls through c sections and it has taken me years to recover form the guilt of not pushing them out and the fact that I will never know what it feels like to push them out. Thank you for sharing your story in this great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is really great to read, I had a c-section with both my boys I don’t know why people are distraught about because I actually chose to have a c-section and don’t regret anything.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I had one if each. I preferred natural childbirth to the c-section. But like you said, life doesn’t alwsys give you a choice. With other factors of course, as it happened, the bond was instantly closer with the latter.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As a doc, I believe having a safe, healthy baby is more important than how the baby is delivered. But every woman feels differently. For my sis, I wanted her and her child to be safe more than anything else.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I had 2 planned C-sections. The reason: I was 41 and 43 year old and in both cases, in spite of the facts both pregnancies were perfect. they were considered risky because of my age. I thing what matter is safety for babies and moms.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thirty percent of women have trouble bonding with their babies, whether they delivered naturally or by C-section. Though being a mother is a gift, connecting with a dependent newborn does not always come easily. There are also some situations that make it harder, such as giving birth in a way mom didn’t expect. Women who have C-sections may have more trouble bonding with their babies because the surgical birth option takes away opportunities that conventional deliveries offer. Not being able to immediately hold or breastfeed a child is hard, and women who have C-sections are often separated from their babies early on. It’s enough to cause mom to wonder why she isn’t having the instant connection feelings she expected.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you so much for this post. I had an emergency c-section in July and i can relate to all the pressures. Thankfully, my baby is healthy.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Healthy mama and healthy baby is the goal of every birth. Whether it is natural or medicated, vaginal or c-section, every birth is special and that bond between mama and baby can be just as strong.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’ve enjoyed reading this post. Both my deliveries where vaginal births so I can’t relate to what a c-section feels like. I do believe that every mom and their babies deserves lots of rest and lots of caring.

    Liked by 1 person

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