There is some fundamental shift once you become a mother, all the “me” issues you used to have disappear into thin air, and you see the world differently than before, this effects every part of you being, your thought process, your relationships, your patience, your priorities, your day to day activities, the way you think, basically everything about you changes.

Don’t get me wrong, my personality is still in there, and I am still me, I am just different, I know how weird that sounds, but for me; I am stronger emotionally; when you become a mom, you have to put your emotions aside sometimes, you cannot have a breakdown right now because you have to feed or bath your baby, so you put it away for later, when later comes you are over it ha ha.

There is just this whole new side of you, and that’s what I call – The Mom Self.

This takes some time to master, as with any new role in your life, practice makes perfect, and this one particularly is so overwhelming and takes some time to get used to.

The day my baby was born, everything was chaotic, so many people, doctors, nurses, and the moment is kind of just too big to fully grasp and take it all in, you and your partner don’t really seem to get the time to chat or to get used to the idea because then grandparents and aunts and uncles pitch up to see the new bundle of joy.

I had a C-Section, so the whole process was just such a shock to my system, I read so many things on the procedure and talked to so many moms that went through it, and yet, it was nothing like I thought it would be, it was so scary being awake (that was the worst part for me) and the adrenaline and the excitement is overwhelming (I use this word a lot, because well, there is no other word for it).

That night I was alone at last in the hospital, they took my baby and looked after her during the night for me to rest after the surgery, the next morning at 5 am, they wheeled her in and left her, I remember thinking oh my word, you can’t just leave her here alone with me, what must I do with her?

The feeling I had was pure panic!

What was I supposed to do with her? I read so many books on what to do, and talked to so many new moms, and yet, in that moment, it all disappeared, and the reality was staring me right in the eyes! I was a mom, and I had a baby, a tiny one at that, and was even unsure about how to change her diaper in that moment.

Now, 6 months later, and I am so comfortable with her, don’t get me wrong, I still has days where I am not sure what is going on and second guess myself, but these days are less than they were. The only way to get to this point is time; give yourself time, don’t be so hard on yourself in the beginning or well, ever for that matter, being a mom is a very big change for a woman, and like all changes in life, you need time and patience to master this role and to fully be comfortable in it.

So, take a deep breath and give yourself a break! You will get there!

Angelique

 

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17 thoughts on “Developing Your “Mom Self”

  1. I’m not a mom but I can only imagine how challenging this is. Thank you for sharing and I honestly believe that giving yourself a break is the best thing can do for yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t have children so I don’t know the feeling of being a mother. I can imagine though that you change once you become a mother and your child becomes the most important in your life.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, I remember when my babies were little! They are 9 and 12 now and I am still on my toes all the time, but I love it so much 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha so understand that that feeling does not just go away , no matter how old they are ! Being a mom is the best thing in the world ! Hard at times , but oh so worth it 🙏🏻❤️

      Like

  4. I know there are so many books about how to be a good parent. But everyone’s experience is unique and difficult. And no one book will teach you all you need to know. But it’s a job you wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The changes you see in a woman when she becomes a mother can be awe inspiring. Ever since we had our oldest (shes 4) my girlfriend wakes up completely alert to everything, which really sucks for her. When I was working nights she would wake up as I unlocked the front door.

    Liked by 1 person

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