I find myself conflicted about being a mother sometimes , on the one hand I am so happy to stay home with my smoo , and on the other I wish I could go back to work or pursue my psychology career .

The lodge I manage is a mere 100 or so meters from our home , so I am lucky enough to be able to do both , or am I ?

Like today for example; I went there , ready to work and it gets busy , which I LOVE ! I love being busy, and then , paige starts crying so I have to leave .

For the first time since she was born I wished I had a nanny just to take a break !

In our area though , because its a rural village there is no daycare … so I will be looking after her until she goes to school and I cant help but feel that I am missing out on so much …

Don’t get me wrong , I am so blessed to have her and I adore her , and I wouldn’t trade her for ANYTHING , but I am still only human at the end of the day !

Have any of you gone through this ?

Angelique

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